A number of emails have circulated in cyberspace discussing what a woman should and should not do in order to avoid being the victim of a sexual assault or rape.
Let's FINALLY set the record straight.
One assertion is that the number one thing rapists look for is hairstyle and number two is the type of clothing a woman is wearing, i.e., items that can be removed easily.
This statement is incorrect. According to law enforcement officials, no such trend has ever been documented. Short hair or long hair, young or old, short or tall, thin or full-figured, dressed for a night on the town or looking like they just came from the gym, absolutely anyone can be a victim. In the United States in 2006, well over 2 million females reported being the victim of a violent crime such as rape, sexual assault, robbery and assault.
Rape and sexual assault are not always about getting sex quickly. A man may rape because he wants to impress his friends by losing his virginity, or because he wants to take vengeance against a woman who has rejected him. It is most often an act of rage or punishment directed at a vulnerable person for various reasons, including the need to control and dominate. An attacker getting a woman out of her clothes quickly is not the controlling factor in a rape, violence is.
Other misconceptions are that "men are most likely to attack and rape a woman in the early morning between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m." and "the number one place women are abducted or attacked is a grocery store parking lot, the number two location is an office parking lot/garage, and the number three location is a public restroom."
To the contrary, statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice confirm that approximately two-thirds of rapes and sexual assaults occur between the hours of 6:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m. And, while location is an important consideration in a violent sexual assault, any place can be dangerous if it is in an isolated area. Busy areas that are frequented by many individuals are far less likely to be chosen by a rapist than poorly lit, out of the way places. To avoid an attack, don't walk alone in remote areas if you can avoid it; park where the majority of other cars are parked, and make sure it is in a well lit area if you will be going back to your car after dark.
It has also been stated that only about two percent of rapists carry a weapon such as a gun or knife. However, according to the 2006 National Crime Victimization Survey prepared by the U.S. Department of Justice, the percentage of incidents where a weapon was used in a rape or sexual assault was 18 percent, compared with 27.9 percent for all completed violent crimes.
FIGHT BACK OR NOT?
If you find yourself the victim of an attempted sexual assault, should you fight back? Well, it depends.
According to the National Criminal Justice Reference Service, and a report prepared by the Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, active resistance can decrease the chances of a completed rape by about 80 percent. The bottom line is this: If someone is just looking to take your valuables and they have a weapon, give them up. On the other hand, if an attacker is looking to sexually assault or rape you, statistics support the conclusion that you should "fight back." Remember that active resistance could be as simple as making noise and bringing attention to yourself. This can "disrupt" the attacker's "plan" and he may get discouraged or lose focus. If you respond with a physical counter-attack, make sure to commit to your decision because there is no turning back. And remember, your goal is to escape, not to win.
It is important to remember that every individual attacker and situation will be different, and there is no one set of correct responses. While it is true that fighting back may cause an attacker to become even more agitated, it is important that before reacting, you listen to your gut, and let your experience and common sense kick in.
BE PREPARED!
The key to women's safety is very simple: Education. Women must arm themselves with the tools necessary to respond to a number of different situations. What may work in one situation against one perpetrator may not work in another.
According to a study conducted at Ohio University, researchers examined how participating in a sexual assault risk reduction program effected college women's likelihood to experience a sexual assault. Findings indicated that at the two-month follow-up, three times as many rapes were reported among the women who did not take the risk reduction program that included a self defense component compared to those who participated in this type of program.
Safety awareness is about using your common sense, being well informed, thinking in advance, and planning ahead.
The National Organization for Women's Safety Awareness developed four basic "TIPS" that, if followed, will significantly decrease anyone's chances of being the victim of an assault or rape.
Think. Anticipate your response/reaction before an incident occurs. Ask yourself, "What would I do if...?
Interrupt. Try to stop the occurrence, development or progress of an incident by remembering the "DIVA'S 5 Steps to Safety" as developed by Stylish Safety, Inc.:?
Distraction. Pay attention to your surroundings and stay focused.
Intuition. Always trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't;
Vulnerability. Don't put yourself in a vulnerable situation.
Assessment. Carefully analyze and assess the situation at hand and be ready to react.
Skills. Know your weapons, natural and material, and how and when to use them, i.e., hands, fingers, handbag, ATM card, whistle, umbrella, book, etc. The high heels of those Manolo Blahniks can be an extremely effective weapon to fight off an attacker!
Practice. Physically rehearse how you will react and what you will do if someone grabs or attacks you. Do this as if you were a child practicing a fire drill.
Speed and Strength. React with purpose and force. You may have a small window of opportunity to act and even a smaller amount of time to escape.
KNOW SOME BASIC PERSONAL DEFENSIVE TACTICS!
It takes many years of training to become proficient in any martial art, but you don't have to be a Black Belt to be able to defend yourself. Every woman should know at least a few basic yet highly effective defensive tactics.? One of the most forceful defensive moves is a SWIFT strike to the throat area just below the Adam's Apple, with your fingers or a stiff hand. Always think "stun and run."
Another powerful response is to push both your hands up into the attackers chin, forcing his head to whip back.
Yet another effective move is to push the side/edge of your hand directly underneath the middle of someone's nose.
Jabbing your fingers into a facial orifice can be quite successful as well.
Finally, if you are brought to the ground, try to get up immediately. If you cannot, stay on your back keeping your body rounded with your feet up. Keep the perpetrator away with your legs, feet and kicks. If a person gets on top of you while you are on your back, keep your elbows and hands up in front of your face. Then try to get the person off by bumping your pelvis up forcefully with your hips to get him to get off balance. Once he falls forward, try to roll onto your side and get up.
Although the information above may seem daunting, it is important that women not live in fear because confidence and a positive attitude are two of their strongest weapons. Women should continue to live remarkable lives, but while doing so they should remember to keep their eyes open and walk with their heads up a little higher and shoulders back a little further. So ladies, go put on your Manolos, grab your Louis Vuitton, and arm yourselves with style and safety!
Please share this article with your daughters, mothers, sisters and all the women in your lives. It may save theirs.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Singleness - 10 Tips to Living a Great Life As a Single Woman
On any given day the divorce rate averages between 50-60% in the United States. When you add in the number of women who stay in emotionally dead relationships and relationships that are physically or emotionally abusive, it's clear that only a small percentage of women are satisfied with their significant other. I've had significant relationships, but most of my adult life I've been a single woman. I'm not opposed to finding a new man or entering a new relationship in the future, but there are things about being single that I love and would hate to give up. If you struggle with singleness, the following tips can change your life by building your self-esteem, and increasing your financial and emotional security.
1. Get your work life in order. This does not mean you need to take a job you hate for a big fat paycheck; instead it means the opposite. Find something you love to do and do it to the best of your ability. Find ways to maximize income from doing what you love to do. Look for people you can love and support on their journey and people who will love and support you on yours. (Consider joining a support group, if you don't have friends or relatives who believe in and affirm you).
2. Take care of your health. Women are bombarded with erroneous images and statistics about health. Grocery stores, billboards and television sets show scantily clad anorexic women selling everything from coffee to diapers. 16 year old models are used to sell anti-wrinkle cream. It's absolutely ridiculous. I have always been a large, athletic, active woman. A few years ago, I was deeply concerned about my weight. According to medical charts I was between 40 and 50 LBs overweight. At my annual physical, I brought this up to my doctor. Her response shocked me. She said, "You have the blood pressure of an athlete, don't worry about it". So my advice-find a sport you love and do it 3 to 5 times a week. It could be water aerobics, dancing, karate or vigorous walking. Find a food plan that works well for your body. I eat mostly unprocessed organic foods including lots of fresh vegetables, some fruit, some dairy and some protein. I still like sweets so I allow them, but only in small quantities. By maintaining optimal health, you'll have optimal energy, lower medical bills and be more likely to have a better outlook on life. I exercise almost every day. When I don't, I'm prone to low energy and low grade depression.
3. Take care of your finances. Stay out of debt at all costs. There are so many creative ways to live well on very little money, provided you don't fall prey to advertisements or the desire to "keep up with the Jones'". There many books which provide excellent information on how to get out of debt and increase prosperity. If you're able to purchase a home and it makes financial sense, do so. Don't wait for Mr. Right. Even if, or when he comes along, he'll probably admire your financial savvy. Think about joining a financial investment group, or taking a class on the stock market at your local community college. Pay off your debts and start saving money.
4. Feed your maternal instincts. If you really want a child and you have the finances to support yourself and the child, and you have a large, loving supportive network of family and friends, adopt a child or apply to become a foster parent. If you don't have the money or don't feel like you can handle being a single parent look for volunteer opportunities that will meet your maternal needs. You can be someone's emotional mother regardless of your age, income or location. Many children with biological parents need more maternal support from the community.
5. Nourish your need for touch. The desire for sex and or to be touched is normal and natural. Some people feel fine about casual sexual relationships. I'm not one of them, and yet I'm a physical vibrant woman. The need to be touched is critical to survival. It is very helpful to schedule routine massages, and establish friendships where friendly hugs or kisses are expected and normal. I also love animals and share my home and heart with several pets. There's nothing as comforting as a cat sleeping on my lap while I read a good book.
6. Live in the moment as much as possible. One of the biggest challenges a single woman faces, is that we often project into the future. We think, "If I'm single now, I'll always be single". This may or may not be true, but in either case, we miss out on the gifts this present moment has to offer. According to Buddha's second noble truth, all suffering comes from desire and our inability to accept our circumstances. Once we embrace the present moment, the richness of life and the endless possibilities of joy are obvious.
7. Learn a quick comeback for relatives or negative self talk. If you're sick of hearing someone say, "...poor thing, so pretty and still single", or some such similar comment, find a truth or a joke that you can use as a quick, automatic response. For example, think about the advantages of being single. "I love my solitude," or a kind joke, "well you already married uncle Clyde". This eventually gets the point across and it helps you maintain your good feelings about your independence.
8. Look for the advantages of being single or the disadvantages of being married. I have a wide circle of friends and do not have to look far. Several of my girl friends married men who developed severe health problems. My friends now spend their time and money taking care of their partner. This has crippled their finances and creativity. On my worst day, I would not trade places with them. Another dear friend of mine is married to a man, who like herself is very opinionated and outspoken. They have horrific verbal spats. Company is no deterrent to this couple, and I've overheard plenty. These dear friends always make up, and appear to have a good marriage, but this is not what I'd want. As a single women I have 100% control over where I go, what I do, who I see, when I get home, how much money I spent and what I'll do with my time. I can put my pajamas on at 5pm or stay out all night. I love that.
9. Make and keep a good circle of friends. Some single women I know form travel groups, investment clubs, or are included in couples functions. It's important to give and receive love and maintain friendships regardless of whether you have a significant relationship or not. Learning to be a better friend and staying connected with people you care about is an important part of life's journey.
10. Keep your mind active. Whether or not you are in a relationship, it's as important to exercise your brain as it is your body. Watch science or nature shows, take a class, join a study group, or find some way to keep fascinated about life. The world is an incredible place; there is so much to learn, be and do. By keeping your mind active, you'll experience more of the joy of being alive. Additionally, if you're continually learning, people will find you interesting, your self-esteem will remain healthy, you'll meet new people, perhaps increase your health or finances, or circle of friendship and support.
Once you learn to be happy in your singleness, you may or may not choose to share your life with another. If you learn to be economically and emotionally responsible for your own health and well being, you're more likely to enjoy life whether you are single or not. If you choose a partner, it will be from a place of strength rather than need. Once you learn how to lovingly care for yourself, it's easier to avoid a partner who would bring you down or cause you emotional, physical or financial harm. In the long run, it won't matter whether you marry, have a lover or live alone. You will be living your life joyfully.
1. Get your work life in order. This does not mean you need to take a job you hate for a big fat paycheck; instead it means the opposite. Find something you love to do and do it to the best of your ability. Find ways to maximize income from doing what you love to do. Look for people you can love and support on their journey and people who will love and support you on yours. (Consider joining a support group, if you don't have friends or relatives who believe in and affirm you).
2. Take care of your health. Women are bombarded with erroneous images and statistics about health. Grocery stores, billboards and television sets show scantily clad anorexic women selling everything from coffee to diapers. 16 year old models are used to sell anti-wrinkle cream. It's absolutely ridiculous. I have always been a large, athletic, active woman. A few years ago, I was deeply concerned about my weight. According to medical charts I was between 40 and 50 LBs overweight. At my annual physical, I brought this up to my doctor. Her response shocked me. She said, "You have the blood pressure of an athlete, don't worry about it". So my advice-find a sport you love and do it 3 to 5 times a week. It could be water aerobics, dancing, karate or vigorous walking. Find a food plan that works well for your body. I eat mostly unprocessed organic foods including lots of fresh vegetables, some fruit, some dairy and some protein. I still like sweets so I allow them, but only in small quantities. By maintaining optimal health, you'll have optimal energy, lower medical bills and be more likely to have a better outlook on life. I exercise almost every day. When I don't, I'm prone to low energy and low grade depression.
3. Take care of your finances. Stay out of debt at all costs. There are so many creative ways to live well on very little money, provided you don't fall prey to advertisements or the desire to "keep up with the Jones'". There many books which provide excellent information on how to get out of debt and increase prosperity. If you're able to purchase a home and it makes financial sense, do so. Don't wait for Mr. Right. Even if, or when he comes along, he'll probably admire your financial savvy. Think about joining a financial investment group, or taking a class on the stock market at your local community college. Pay off your debts and start saving money.
4. Feed your maternal instincts. If you really want a child and you have the finances to support yourself and the child, and you have a large, loving supportive network of family and friends, adopt a child or apply to become a foster parent. If you don't have the money or don't feel like you can handle being a single parent look for volunteer opportunities that will meet your maternal needs. You can be someone's emotional mother regardless of your age, income or location. Many children with biological parents need more maternal support from the community.
5. Nourish your need for touch. The desire for sex and or to be touched is normal and natural. Some people feel fine about casual sexual relationships. I'm not one of them, and yet I'm a physical vibrant woman. The need to be touched is critical to survival. It is very helpful to schedule routine massages, and establish friendships where friendly hugs or kisses are expected and normal. I also love animals and share my home and heart with several pets. There's nothing as comforting as a cat sleeping on my lap while I read a good book.
6. Live in the moment as much as possible. One of the biggest challenges a single woman faces, is that we often project into the future. We think, "If I'm single now, I'll always be single". This may or may not be true, but in either case, we miss out on the gifts this present moment has to offer. According to Buddha's second noble truth, all suffering comes from desire and our inability to accept our circumstances. Once we embrace the present moment, the richness of life and the endless possibilities of joy are obvious.
7. Learn a quick comeback for relatives or negative self talk. If you're sick of hearing someone say, "...poor thing, so pretty and still single", or some such similar comment, find a truth or a joke that you can use as a quick, automatic response. For example, think about the advantages of being single. "I love my solitude," or a kind joke, "well you already married uncle Clyde". This eventually gets the point across and it helps you maintain your good feelings about your independence.
8. Look for the advantages of being single or the disadvantages of being married. I have a wide circle of friends and do not have to look far. Several of my girl friends married men who developed severe health problems. My friends now spend their time and money taking care of their partner. This has crippled their finances and creativity. On my worst day, I would not trade places with them. Another dear friend of mine is married to a man, who like herself is very opinionated and outspoken. They have horrific verbal spats. Company is no deterrent to this couple, and I've overheard plenty. These dear friends always make up, and appear to have a good marriage, but this is not what I'd want. As a single women I have 100% control over where I go, what I do, who I see, when I get home, how much money I spent and what I'll do with my time. I can put my pajamas on at 5pm or stay out all night. I love that.
9. Make and keep a good circle of friends. Some single women I know form travel groups, investment clubs, or are included in couples functions. It's important to give and receive love and maintain friendships regardless of whether you have a significant relationship or not. Learning to be a better friend and staying connected with people you care about is an important part of life's journey.
10. Keep your mind active. Whether or not you are in a relationship, it's as important to exercise your brain as it is your body. Watch science or nature shows, take a class, join a study group, or find some way to keep fascinated about life. The world is an incredible place; there is so much to learn, be and do. By keeping your mind active, you'll experience more of the joy of being alive. Additionally, if you're continually learning, people will find you interesting, your self-esteem will remain healthy, you'll meet new people, perhaps increase your health or finances, or circle of friendship and support.
Once you learn to be happy in your singleness, you may or may not choose to share your life with another. If you learn to be economically and emotionally responsible for your own health and well being, you're more likely to enjoy life whether you are single or not. If you choose a partner, it will be from a place of strength rather than need. Once you learn how to lovingly care for yourself, it's easier to avoid a partner who would bring you down or cause you emotional, physical or financial harm. In the long run, it won't matter whether you marry, have a lover or live alone. You will be living your life joyfully.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Statistics on Infertility
Infertility is a horrible battle for many couples and according to statistics, the number of couples that are fighting that battle continue to rise. For medical and insurance purposes, infertility is generally defined as the inability to become pregnant after trying for twelve months. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), in 2002 1.2 million of the 62 million women that were of reproductive age had medical appointments related to infertility related medical issues with the previous twelve months. That figures out to about 2 percent of reproductive age women. In addition to that, 8 percent had infertility related medical appointments at some time in the past. These infertility services included diagnostic tests to determine infertility, medical consultation and treatments to assist women in becoming pregnant, and other non-routine services to prevent miscarriage.
Contrary to popular belief, infertility is not just a woman's condition. A CDC study analyzed information from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. This study found that a 7.5% of all sexually experienced men reported a visit for assistance with having a child at some time during their life. This equals 3.3 to 4.7 million men. 18.1% of men who sought help were diagnosed with a male-related infertility problem. These infertility problems included sperm or semen problems 13.7 percent of the time and varicocele 5.9 percent of the time. Two million couples also reported that they had not conceived in the previous 12 months in spite of trying. Infertility affects approximately 7.3 million women and their partners in the U.S. that equates to about 12 percent of the reproductive age population.
What Are the Possible Causes of Infertility?
While the CDC does not have firm numbers for many of the suspected causes of infertility, the list continues to grow.
- Tubal infertility affects 18% of the couples who try use assisted reproductive technology (ART) to try to overcome infertility. This is typically the result of chronic pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) and can lead to tubal scarring. Tubal scarring can be prevented by early detection and treatment of sexually transmitted infections, especially chlamydia infection. Over1 million chlamydia cases are reported to the CDC each year.
- The percentage of male factor infertility due to varicocele is not known. However, this condition is reported in approximately fifty percent of the inpatient surgery services and about two thirds of office visits for male factor infertility in the United States.
- Environmental and occupational hazards account for an unknown amount of infertility. These hazards are suspected causes of declining human sperm quality in industrialized countries. About 84,000 chemicals are in the workplace; statistics say 2,000 new chemicals every year. However, information on reproductive toxicity is only available for a few thousand.
While these statistics alone are staggering it is only a few of the potential causes of infertility. Smoking, obesity, and medical conditions such also figure into the statistics.
Natural Ovarian Cyst Cures - 3 Easy Ways to Start Your Healing Process Naturally
It's a comforting fact to know that most cysts will actually go away on their own in time. So when your doctor gives you the facts about surgery, rest assured that there is another way to cure your cysts, that doesn't involve going anywhere near a hospital. The natural cures are often more effective than surgery in curing and keeping the cysts away, as even after surgery, unless clear changes are implemented to lifestyle and diet for example, the cysts may return.
An easy way to start the healing process is to start detoxifying your body. Three examples are given below:
- Increase your fiber intake
- Drink herbal teas
- Drink plenty of water!
The liver will need a kickstart to be better able to deal with the toxins released during treatment and these three ways are widely recommended examples to begin a detox program. You will find that if you are used to drinking less than 2 litres of water per day that you will need to urinate very frequently! This usually settles down after a few days as the body gets used to the increased fluid intake. The extra fiber will help to keep the bowels happy, as any extra pressure on the lower abdomen can cause additional pain in the pelvic region.
If you are suffering from pain, a tried and tested way to relieve it is to try using a heating pad or a hot water bottle gently placed over the abdomen. The road to recovery doesn't take or cost much to get started, and it especially doesn't have to involve painful surgery.
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