Grounded in the Midst of Chaos

Oh, the unnerving feeling of losing control. Don't cha just hate it?

I've interviewed scores of women who've shared that "losing it" is one of their biggest fears and most daunting obstacles.

Why does not being able to control our circumstances, surroundings, or responses of others cause us to fall apart at the seams and resort to all manner of unhealthy activities?

Eating not two but three pints of Cherry Garcia comes to mind as does the pervasive, soul-sapping "un-activity," procrastination. Sometimes we choose to stick our head in the sand and hope the situation will blow over.

And sometimes lack of control over one or two circumstances will lead to a feeling of lack of control over everything. In a flash our whole world, in our mind's eye anyway, turns upside down into one big ole chaotic mess.

I asked a friend and colleague of mine, Life Coach Joann Lim, why she thought lack of control is such a bugaboo for many women and why it can lead to an overall feeling of utter chaos. Joann said CHAOS = CHANGE. We often feel like our lives are out of control and chaotic when our status quo is disrupted, that is, when change of any kind takes place.

A few short weeks ago a team of movers swarmed into our house to box up our belongings and transport them from Lovely Lynchburg, Virginia, to Beautiful Bel Air, Maryland. Sure enough, change was occurring right in front of me. I felt control-less in the midst of chaos despite the team's orderly manner and noteworthy professionalism. Breathe, Jory, breathe!

But check this out. Joann showed me that the letters for C A N are in the word CHANGE whereas the letters for C A N N O T are not!

Hmmm. True that. So how 'bout if we focus on what we CAN do when life seems to overwhelm us?

Let's start with the four chief categories that comprise life as we know it: Physical, Psychological, Emotional, and Spiritual. And let's put several options under each category that will help us stay grounded in the midst of chaos/change.

[I polled my colleagues, clients, Facebook friends, and my captive audience at a recent Women's Expo in Baltimore, Maryland to come up with the following list.]

Proven Suggestions for Staying Grounded in the Midst of Chaos

Physical

• Take a nature walk and truly appreciate your surroundings
• Eat well
• If you've downed too much ice cream, go eat something healthy to get back on track
• Drink plenty of water
• Choose to smile despite what's going on around you
• Take a bubble bath
• Drink warm tea
• Arrange fresh flowers
• Take a yoga class (or Zumba or Nia or belly dancing... whatever you enjoy)
• Reach out to your spouse for intimacy
• Breathe!!

Psychological

• Meditate or contemplate on all that's good in your life
• Think of three small things you can do that will make you feel as if you're back in control and/or making progress.
• Prioritize your "to do" list
• Focus on one task at a time
• Remember why you're doing what you're doing to help cut down on overwhelm
• If the task at hand doesn't fit into the big picture, don't do it
• If necessary, give yourself a set amount of time to fret and stew
• Set a timer -- when your time is up, move on
• Be at peace with asking for help
• Ask for help
• Take care of yourself
• Remember the oxygen mask rule -- you need to put yours onfirst
• Establish routines and stick to them
• Ask yourself: "In five years, will this really matter?"
• Celebrate your victories!!!! (a.k.a. "Do the Happy Dance!" wherever and whenever you can)

Emotional

• Talk your concerns over with friends and family
• Don't complain as this will merely reinforce your feelings of chaos and overwhelm
• Seek counsel from trusted advisers and mentors
• Maintain a positive, grateful attitude (in all things, give thanks)
• Enjoy your pets and/or whatever else brings you a sense of joy
• Ask yourself, "What will bring my heart peace right now?"
• Follow your intuition

Spiritual

• Pray about everything
• Be of service to others
• Visualize C A L M -- what does that look like for you?
• Visualize and affirm a positive result
• Read soul-nurturing books, articles, and magazines
• Refresh your soul with music or anything else that feeds your spirit
• Ask yourself, "How can I handle this situation in a way that has eternal significance?"

What I find particularly useful for me is to weigh everything against my God-given purpose, which is akin to asking the eternal significance question above.

As put forth by author and theologian Gordon T. Smith in his book Courage & Calling, we can think of purpose or calling as having three dimensions. (1) What is our general purpose or calling as children of God? (2) What is our specific purpose or calling that allows us to use our unique gifting to touch the lives of others? (3) And what are our primary tasks and responsibilities put before us right now?

As I've helped women discern their life purpose, I've discovered that many think they have to wait till a certain stage of their life is over before they can "find, follow, and fulfill" their divine calling. "When I graduate from college... when I finish grad school... when my babies go off to college... when I finish paying for grad school... when my parents don't need me anymore." We tend to think we can't live out our purpose until [fill in the blank].

We'd be waiting forever if the planets had to align just right for us to live with purpose, passion... and joy.

If you're home with young children, if you're taking care of elderly parents, if you're nurturing a husband back to health, if you're faithfully fulfilling your God-given tasks and responsibilities, then know you are in the heart of your purpose. Add meditating on that comforting thought to the suggestions above. It will serve as your soul-soothing plumb line in the midst of what appears to be pure chaos.

Even if we're in a fairly calm stage of life right now, change is waiting for us right around the corner. Let's equip ourselves with a plan and strategy now so we can be prepared for whatever may come our way.

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Millenial Women Are The Independent Woman!

Most women of my generation and thereafter have been raised to be independent, self sufficient, and autonomous; not reliant on others for their own happiness, financial stability, & overall needs and wants in life! I have always prided myself on being a strong, intelligent, independent woman. I watched my role model and mentor, my mother, raise her two children alone. From watching her and my other role model/mentors throughout my life I have always been drawn to strong, self-sufficient women. I have always viewed the skills, character, and determination that they have with the deepest admiration and attempted to replicate such qualities in myself.

If you are an Independent Woman, you can't help but be her because that is you! However, you may have noticed that many embrace this woman, while others are threatened or intimidated by her. Such independence can cause challenges in some of our most important relationships; specifically our love relationships. For a woman, we feel it is the highest compliment to tell your mate I don't need you; I WANT you. Yet most men would rather want a woman to NEED him than want him. The situation seems to set us both up for conflict and challenges our core values.

Marvelous Men, we need to find ways for you to embrace the independent woman. Wondrous Women, we must continue to show our Marvelous Men that we can be strong, autonomous, and intelligent. None of those things take away from him and we must assure him we WANT him in our lives. We want your friendship, support, encouragement, and unconditional love. Wondrous Women don't need a man to survive, but rather we want a man, especially one that can be our lover & a friend. We want a man to be by our side and proud of our strong nature, not threatened by our ability to take care of ourselves. When he learns to admire her independence he helps her thrive! Embrace her independence and let her be her; doing so is a win-win situation and a demonstration of a true union and partnership!

Will the men of the millennial and beyond be able to better appreciate the woman who wants you instead of needs you? It really is so much more of a compliment to know that you are involved with another out of desire instead of desperation. Together we should be praising the independent woman for being so capable, driven, and determined. Women and men are now capable of being the driver of their destiny and that is a fact to be proud of!

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How to Make the Most of Couture Wedding Gowns

Nothing looks quite as elegant as couture wedding gowns when they come out just right. If planned and executed carefully and perfectly, a custom made dress can look and feel like the dress of your dreams! There are several ways to make sure your couture bridal dress looks great and makes you look even better!

Here are a few of the things that help make couture wedding gowns look the best that they can be!

Styles and Fabrics That Fit the Occasion

A comfortable bride is a beautiful bride, which is why it is necessary to make sure that the fabric and styles used in couture wedding gowns suit the season, occasion and location as much as possible. Obviously, if the wedding is to be held outdoors in the summertime, it makes no sense to buy a heavy wedding dress with heavy fabrics that will be quite uncomfortable in hot weather. On the other hand, it is equally uncomfortable to be wearing cotton, gauzy, lightweight gowns in the middle of a cold snap. Be practical.

Detailing

Lace or embroidery? Seed pearls or rhinestones? How about sequins? Boning? Petticoats? Silk flowers? Hand beading? These are the details that add to the magic of the designs - but only when done right. Too little, and they're of no help, while too much is just tacky. A good designer will help you decide on just the right amount of detailing added at just the right places to flatter you most.

Undergarments

Wearing the proper underclothes go a long way in making sure that whatever couture wedding gown you might have chosen, it will look good on you! Undergarments certainly affect how a dress fits, and how smoothly it hangs on a figure. Don't skimp when investing in good undergarments.

Shoes

Having the right height, design and material for your shoes can go a long way in making the most out of your couture wedding gowns. The height of the shoe affects the hemline and how the skirt falls, and there's a right shoe height for every design. Short tea-length dresses, for instance will do best with high heels that flatter the legs, while tall brides in streamlined gowns might do well with ballet flats or jewelled sandals. When it comes to shoes, choosing the right ones will spell the difference between looking good and looking great.

Accessories

Flowers in your hair or a pearl hair band (or tiara) holding the veil in place may just be the finishing touch you need, but that truly depends on the designs. Carefully choosing the right accessories to match the different designs for couture wedding gowns is the key to the perfect look. Less is usually more.

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Honoring Friendships As Great American Women

It's a late Friday afternoon in early August when they start to arrive at the cash bar. Within a few minutes, the lounge is full of laughter and cheer as old friends reunite and newcomers are warmly welcomed.

The atmosphere is enthusiastic and expectant. No wonder.

These twenty-some women have much to look forward to. They have left their usual chores behind for a weekend of good wining, dining and camaraderie at a very hospitable conference center near Minneapolis.

Every year since 1995, this getaway has brought dozens of American women together from several different states, and even as far away as Scandinavia.

How did it all get started?

Many years ago, an executive member of a large, nationwide scholarship organization was nearing retirement age. The thought of losing contact with her network of interesting, professional women got her thinking.

"I must find way to keep in touch with this amazing group of women!"

Brainstorming this thought resulted in the idea of collecting women friends, relatives and friends-of-friends once a year for a weekend of open-hearted sharing and studying topics of interest to all. In this way her network would not only flourish, but could even expand.

She decided to call the event "The Great American Women Getaway" as it would allow American women to get away from life's usual demands and enjoy spending truly quality time together.

How is it organized?

Each year, the theme of the coming year is decided on during that Getaway. Everyone has a chance to contribute ideas. A few months later, all attendees receive a copy of the "Getaway Gazette" with a short article about each session that took place. In February, it is high time for the planning committee for the next Getaway to start finalizing ideas for the up-coming event. Everyone on the mailing list is contacted and volunteers are recruited to lead the various presentations.

The committee also researches possible women authors who might be interested in speaking about a recent book they have written. This is always a very inspirational highlight for the women.

As plans finalize, the committee sends out a description of the various sessions to encourage everyone interested to register as soon as possible. Those already on the mailing list are welcome to suggest new names of women who might be interested in the event. Everyone is always made warmly welcome.

As all preparation and planning is done by volunteers, there is only a small registration fee. Room and board at the conference center is provided at a reduced rate.

About a month or so before the start of the Getaway, final information is sent out.

Needless to say, this information boosts excitement even further.

Then, on a late Friday afternoon in early August, a gang of cheerful, enthusiastic gals of all ages gather at the conference center's cash bar and the fun begins!

What sort of topics are covered?

During the years, innumerable subjects have been explored during this weekend of fun discovery.

A complete list would require several pages, but here are a few topics from recent years:

Pioneer women on the trail West, Women and the Arts, being mothers and daughters, how the brain works, the history of the English language, reducing pollution, getting to know Annie Liebovitz, experiencing a labyrinth, sharing worldviews, making dream catchers, the art of patchwork quilting, the luxury of fragrant oils, drawing on the right side of the brain, hospice care, adoption.

An event that enriches women's lives year after year

The goal of the Great American Women Getaway is to connect interesting women with great ideas and good books. Strong and meaningful relationships are the result.

Perhaps you have been wondering about how to keep in touch with friends and family. Why not consider organizing a yearly retreat that gets everyone talking, sharing and learning together?

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Sexual Wellness As a Path to Freedom

Sexual Wellness as a path to freedom

My hope is that this phrase will make you stop and think. Hmmm...how is this possible?

How does a healthy sex life give you a feeling of freedom?

First of all, let's define what is meant by sexual wellness or healthy sex. Sexual wellness is a return to the inner wisdom and truth about BEing a sexual person. It is a place that lives inside of you where you feel safe and have the power to enjoy sex without restraint, and have full permission to express your sexuality. This does not mean that you have to hang yourself upside down and create exotic gymnastics to have a fulfilling sexual experience. It actually has nothing to do with what is happening on the outside during sex. Sexual wellness is a quality of energy that pulses at a high vibration which results in vibrant health on the inside.

For every individual, the path to find sexual wellness is unique. No two orgasms look the same. You explore your personal inner most ecstatic feelings by allowing, receiving and surrendering to pleasure. Safety is the key.

Knowing you are safe is also an inside job. You experience safety when your body is very relaxed and your mind is easeful without stress and worries. How hard is this for you? According to current data, at least 60% of women are repressed sexually so I imagine many of you find it difficult to feel safe. BTW, the 60% statistic has also been noted to be low by many sexual experts. That's a WHOA Baby!

It makes me sad to report it, as I know the value of sexual wellness for you, your relationships and the entire planet. When we free ourselves from the confinement of fear around our sexuality, the joy factor on the planet will increase substantially.

Let's take a look at our key words and their definitions, and how you can use the meaning behind them to skip down the path of sexual liberation and freedom. And please do skip it gets us out of our serious minds always helpful.:)

Allow: 1) to make a possibility, 2) to give consideration to circumstances or contingencies.

Allow yourself to consider what needs to BE present in order to feel safe and experience pleasure.

Receive: 1) to come into possession of, 2) to assimilate through the mind or senses

Receive and possess pleasure by experiencing joy through your senses. Let all your senses come alive throughout your day.

Surrender: 1) to give oneself over to something (as an influence), 2) to yield to the power

Surrender to the power of pleasure and allow it influence your life.

There are obvious issues which prevent us from experiencing deep satisfaction and fulfillment with sexuality. We, as women, are awfully good at complicating most situations. Our darn brains just don't want to turn off sometimes.

Start where you are...and cultivate a knowing that sexual wellness heals you and creates freedom in every aspect of your life.

"Health is not only to be well, but to use well every power we have." - Florence Nightingale

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Hairstyles for 2012 for a Fashion Forward Lady

Glistening hair

Glistening hair, the most coveted one, doesn't just happen, no matter what your hair length or texture, you've to work for it! Do not expect it to happen overnight, you have to religiously follow certain steps to grow that beautiful and healthy glistening hair. The good part is that it is not hard it just requires discipline and patience.

You can use hair serum with light concentration of oils and silicone and apply it to the roots of the hair everyday. Leave it in your hair overnight for better results. To keep every strand of hair shinny and strong, go with hot hair oils. Cold rinse adds loads of luster to your hair. For that ultra shine go with professional hair treatments.

Bold colors

We all know and love Katy Perry, maybe not as mush for her music as it is for the constant change of her hairstyles with different color shades. She goes from pink, to light blue and green in a heart beat and looks fabulous in all these shades. Bold colors are big for this spring/summer season. The top of the color chart are the soft pink mixed with blond shades of orange. The contrast of bright and dark colors is the new look.

Pony tail, top knots, wrap it ups - embellished

Whether you prefer short hair or the Rapunzel look, everyone relies on a pony tail at one time or another. The pony tails are back. You can go with soft and low, sleek and high, low and parted on side with curls for longer hair. The sprout look is perfect for short hair. With this length, it's difficult to fit every last hair into an elastic band. Little pieces of short hair sticking out can give the hairstyle a playful edge. You can turn the pony tail into an embellished wrap up with chic hairpins or a top-knot if your hair is thinner to avoid the look of lifelessness.

The beach wave look

The urban wave of messy hair is back. The soft curls are the newest and hottest hairstyle trends. You can pull off this look without much effort. A simple blow-dry of hair and it's done. It looks messy and yet polished.The beach waves will give you super sultry look that will seamlessly take you from day-to-night, work-to-play. If you want to go for a more sophisticated waves than use curling iron to define the locks and then pass through the strands with a hair comb.

Voluminous bouncy blowouts

Loosely curled, Bohemian-inspired hair as seen on stars have been in high demand lately. If you want to provide your hair with sophistication and 1960s Hollywood glamour, than opt for a voluminous bouncy blowout. You can't pull out this look if your hair is thinner, but if you have thick hair than you should go for it.

Braids

Braids are enormously versatile. There are many different braided hairstyles that can be done. There's the milkmaid, the over-the-shoulder, French braids, braids tucked into buns, mini-braids interwoven into hair, French braids that give the illusion of an under-cut, the braid as a headband, fishtail braids. We could go on and on. The point is that they are huge and have the ability to provide you with the look of a Roman and Greek empress and are perfect hairstyle especially for summer and weddings.

Go for at least one of this look and you're guaranteed to be branded chic and charming

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5 Simple School Fundraising Ideas

School spirit is more vivid with fundraising. To support a particular group, occasion, or campaign, schools and other non-profit organizations use successful fundraising events to keep the finances flowing.

Most of school fundraising helps varsity teams' subsidize uniforms and equipment. Provide better health care services for students as well as construction of important facilities of the school. The fund used in these improvements usually comes from parents and alumni funds.

Here are five simple tips that can make your school fundraising extra lucrative.

Art pieces

You can sell or set an auction for art pieces made by famous local artists. If you know someone from your school that is having a name in the art scene, you can invite him over together with his pieces to help raise funds and popularity at the same time.

Handicrafts

Most of handicrafts are made out of recycled and cheap materials but once done and sold, can actually cost more. You can invite groups that specialize on handicraft making. Or, those moms that are not busy can give their time to the event as well. They will surely be happy to help their children and school with this type of project.

Food

While everyone is busy with school fair, you can sell student's most favorite food. It can be cupcakes, pizza, chocolates and anything that you know they will surely like.

You can order a bulk of food to have discount. If you're a good baker or cook you can also make them yourself. Although it can be time consuming, at least you have the full control of the amount and the production of the food.

Apparels

Shirt, jacket and cap are most worn apparels of students especially during school events. You can sell personalized printed shirt or even have them design their own shirt. All you need are t-shirts of any color, painting materials, silk screen for printing and of course creative mind.

Accessories

Girls and boys will never skip your booth if you're selling hip and cool accessories. From necklaces, earrings, bracelets and other fashionable accessories such as scarf, belt and sunglasses. If you want to spread a particular message, you can engrave it on famous rubber bracelets and get people wear them wherever they go.

There are other that you can use in fundraising such as sports events, pageants and other contest. Meet with your group and gauge the pulse of the students and other potential customers to build a successful fundraising campaign.

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Don't Let Summer Sabotage Your Style

Summer is almost here and the warm weather probably has you peeling off your layers and pulling on your shorts. Yet as the temperatures rise and you begin to break a sweat while simply sitting on the porch, don't let your style suffer.

In many areas, warm weather can be synonymous with casual clothing. Just think about it - head to the beach and chances are your mode of dress barely consists of more than a tank top and shorts or a simple dress teamed with a pair of flip flops or thongs. Or if you're at home you may be wearing the exact same thing and wishing you were at the beach. It's summertime and the living' is easy. Yet don't let the more casual of seasons sabotage your style or your credibility. With a few tips you can tweak your chic while keeping your cool.

1. Business Casual does NOT mean Casual - There is a fine line between business casual and casual dress, and often times it can be confusing to know what's appropriate. Generally speaking, avoid anything that you'd wear to the beach or around the house such as flip-flops, logo tee shirts, sheer and voluminous dresses, jean shorts, tops and dresses that are strapless or have spaghetti straps, and shorts in general are no-no's when it comes to the workplace. Rule of thumb: if you're not sure, the answer is 'no'!

2. White Isn't Always Right - Years ago you'd hear to wear white undies beneath your white pants, and a white bra under your white top. Well, today that's not the way to do it. Wearing white under your whites will only show and create a distraction where you'd prefer discretion. Opt for skin tone colored bras and panties and keep your unmentionables under wraps.

3. Stray Straps - Going lighter in your clothing sometimes mean that your bra straps can find their way into the daylight. If this is the case, you'd be better off going for a different top or dress, or perhaps covering up with a jacket or cardigan. Brightly colored bras are not the solution! Visible bra straps are just plain sloppy. Wear a tank to cover them up if necessary.

4. Boyfriend Sweatshirt - Sure, your office gets chilly, but avoid pulling out a jacket that looks like you borrowed it from your boyfriend. Big, baggy and boxy jackets that do nothing but hide your outfit while keeping you warm will undermine your look. Opt for a more fitted jacket that complements your style and helps you look great.

5. Feet First - If you opt for bare sandals, be sure your feet are ready to make their debut. A pedicure can help you to avoid feet that are rough, dry and unsightly. Add a pretty coat of polish, whether nude or bright, to keep your feet looking their best.

Don't use summer as an excuse to let your appearance go. Sure, your look may be a little more casual, but that doesn't have to mean sloppy or frumpy. Take a little time to be sure and add in those little touches that can mean the difference between frumpy and fabulous!

Happy Summer!

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The Fear of Becoming an Invisible Woman Once You Turn 40

Is invisibility the only choice for women over 40?

In a recent article in my weekend paper about women over 40, one particular participant was bemoaning the fact that she was now invisible to younger men. She was sharing one of the greatest fears of baby-boomer women. It is the fear of losing your attraction to others. Whether it is your size or what you are wearing, many women feel unnoticed and bypassed both in their professional and personal life.

Here are two questions for you to consider? Who are you dressing for? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?

Read on for my views on whether invisibility is the only option for business and professional women over 40.

Is Invisibility the Only Choice? Yes!

Invisibility is the only option if you choose to take that option. If you decide to retreat from contact from others, wear dowdy clothes, slouch and look unhappy, you will be invisible to everyone and not just young men.

If how you dress and look becomes unimportant to you and you decide to follow your current passions, you cannot be invisible. Your life-affirming attitude will shine through to others.

Is Invisibility the Only Choice? Maybe!

Beware of invisibility by accident. This is when you live in mostly beige or black clothes or become so much of a stereotype of your age group that you show no individuality.

You might have put on extra weight or wear dowdy, shapeless clothes because it is all too hard. You have no idea how to look modern and stylish. To you it seems like the media is only interested in women much younger than you.

You might relate to the survey result In Weight Watchers, July 2010 magazine that found that women today feel less valued by their partners than men do. If any of these are you, it is time to change invisibility by accident.

Is Invisibility the Only Choice? No!

Face the question that frightens you. Who are you dressing for? Are you dressing for men and of what age group? Are you seeking compliments from other women? Are you dressing to please yourself first?

Dressing for yourself to suit your shape and personality improves your posture and puts a smile on your face. Believe me, men of all ages may not notice your clothes or your hairstyle but they do notice your self-confidence. So do other women. They notice the women who walk tall and quietly proud of their individuality. Look around for female role models in your local community or women over 45 who are on a bigger stage.

Even if it seems that no one notices, it is your self-esteem that matters. Youth is spent dressing for others. Age is spent dressing for you only. Stand tall, smile and learn new dressing skills if that is what you need and you will never be invisible.

Now you are ready for the big question. What do you want to do with the rest of your life? Clarity on that attracts people to you. If you are not sure what to do with the rest of your life, I suggest you read I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher.

Last Words:Getting your partner to pay you compliments, now that is a whole different subject.

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How to Use Red, Yellow and Blue to Boost Your Emotions, Your Business and Your Natural Beauty

Colour is all around us. It would be very boring if we lived only in a black and white world. Colour adds interest, excitement, relaxation and individuality to our lives.

It is a visual language that we all respond to. Not everyone has learnt to tap into the unspoken emotional power of colour. When you travel or look at images from other parts of the world, it is interesting to let go of your learned responses and notice how other cultures and environments interpret the meaning of the same colours.

Red, yellow and blue are the basis from which all the colours are created. They are called the primary colours. On a colour wheel which usually contains twelve colours, the primary colours are evenly spaced - four apart.

Every colour has both positive and negative emotions and perceptions attached to it.

Here is my short guide to help you use the western world's view of primary colours to boost your emotions, your business and your natural beauty.

Red - Never Passive

The colour of action, romance and anger - red is never passive.

Usually thought of as a look at me colour, it attracts extroverts as you cannot hide in a clear, strong red. Introverts and gentler people will tend towards elegant burgundy and maroon or the more grounded red earth.

If you woke up angry, I suggest you do not wear red or it is going to be a bull-fighting day. Red is the colour for women in their 60s. It goes beautifully with grey hair and reminds you that it is now time to do things for yourself.

As red is one of the primary colours, it definitely makes your business card and advertising material stand out. Finally, red is a favourite colour choice for sporting teams that want to ignite passion in their supporters.

The Very Under-rated Yellow

Sunshine, intellect, optimism and cowardice - yellow is a very emotional colour.

I have read that yellow is the colour that most women will avoid wearing. Fashion trends usually promote bright yellow which is a colour only a few women can wear successfully. Lemon highlights blond hair and a yellow tie makes the blue eyes of men look brighter. Butter yellow or golden amber look great on those with spring or autumn colouring.

Yellow is a great colour in the office for a business promoting enthusiasm, optimism or logical thinking. Your mind takes longer to recognise yellow. People look at business cards a little bit longer if they have more yellow in them than other colours. Lots of businesses combine yellow and blue to engage both sides of the brain - yellow for logical thinking and blue for communication.

Blue - a Favourite Colour of Men

Blue relates to the creative right-brain. In its positive aspects, light blue is the colour of communication and dark blue is the colour of trust. On its negative side, blue is associated with feelings of sadness and depression.

In nature blue can be cool and calming like a light blue sky and a tropical ocean or it can be cold and depressing like Antarctic ice with a foggy blue-grey sky.

Blue helps men communicate with each other and with women. Men find it easier and less stressful talking to or listening to a woman dressed in light blue. Fuchsia which is a combination of blue and pink attracts men as the message it subconsciously sends out is of a woman who is confident and easy to talk to.

Those with cool colouring in their hair, eyes and skin will generally have a preference for soft, pale or deep blue. Those with warm colouring will tend towards aqua, blue-green or blue-purple.

Finally, colour experts say that eating blue-purple foods like berries calms you down and helps you sleep well.

Go now and play with red, yellow and blue.Look, think and feel how you can add these colours to bring more of what you want into your life.

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Are You Typecast or The Real You?

Acting is a funny profession. Do your job really well and people start to believe that the character is the real you. People get attached to characters they see often, especially in a TV series.

Some time ago my husband and I went to see a George Clooney movie in the town of Burlington in the USA. The three ladies behind us were excited and could not stop talking about all the George Clooney movies they had seen. Suddenly their mood changed. As soon as they discovered that in this movie George was playing against type as a totally unlovable character, they walked out.

Some actors play a character so well that they become typecast. They never get a chance to keep developing.

So who are you?

Are you typecast as an actor dressing to play a role, perfected over many years, of who you want people to think you are? People cannot truly like you if you never show them who you really are. Play a part and others can only relate to that character.

How do you reveal you through the way you dress? Here are three habits for the modern business and professional woman over 40 to help you avoid being a typecast character.

I Will Think Twice before letting someone else talk me into buying something. Whether it is a friend, family member or sales assistant, stop before you say yes. Ask yourself these questions. Do I like this colour, pattern and style? Is this me or someone I am pretending to be? If you have to think twice or a long time about it, it is not you and that item of clothing or accessory is going to sit in your wardrobe unworn.

I Will Repair, Alter or Throw Out all those clothes and accessories that just do not feel quite right on me. Here is a Home Truth. If you really loved it, you would have fixed it by now. Okay, sometimes we all are slack. Leave it too long and your heart tells you that most of those unrepaired and unaltered items are not really who you are today. So fix them or dispose of them. Then you can go shopping for what you really want, need and love.

I Will Receive Compliments Graciously. All of us like to give but many of us find it hard to receive. Receiving is also an act of generosity. When you get a compliment on the way you look, just say thank you. Do not add a put-down of yourself or immediately give a compliment back. Both of these destroy the pleasure for the other person. You are telling them that you are not proud to be you. When you show people who you really are and they notice it, they are recognising and liking you not the actor playing the pretend you.

Who is George Clooney? I believe that he is a good actor and that is all I know for sure as I have never met him personally. I would much rather get to know the true and interesting you not the pretend character many of us think we should be.

This article is brought to you by FREE DATING.

Diminution Of Women In World Society, Why?

It seems fair to say that most people around the world have little knowledge about human origin. There are three schools of thought which deal with the embryonic phase of human life. Namely in science, religion and history. I want to focus on our origin, and social development of female and male over time. To get a glimpse also of coexistence between women and men and the cause of male dominance over women.

There is some silence on the issues which put women and men apart, on some turf. Historical record of origin, gives us no doubt that women and men were created equal. The bible tells a bizarre story of origin, how God amass some dust of the ground and using it to create woman and man. God sets them to work for him in a place called the Garden of Eden. He gave them an order to be fruitful and multiply, and so far the both of them seem on par. Then something funny happens down the line, when an intruder called "serpent" walked into their residence. The woman was beguiled by the serpent and was given some knowledge. But God called it unforgivable transgression and punished them all. God cursed all three of them who were involved. But in the treatment of the woman name Eve, God was unrelenting in his punishment of her. Adam her husband, was punished far less severe than his was. Then God, in his intolerance of what they did, evicted both of them from his residence to live in the woods.

Major ancient civilizations such as Egyptian, Assyrian, Babylonian and Sumerian, give us the version of human origin. It shows a unified understanding of equality with woman and men on every level. The science of our day, has said nothing to oppose ancient account of human origin. However, it differs with biblical metaphysical presentation on the subject of equality. The background perspective gives us thousands of years when humanoid yielded little intellectual progression. But change came about when aliens from an outer planet came to residents on earth, and a scientist from among them, decided to create substitute workers. A male scientist instructs his associate, his sister to "Mix to a core the clay, from the Basement of the Earth, at a location in Africa. Shape it into the form of a core the scientist said. I shall provide good, knowing young Lord, who will bring the clay to its' right condition." Hence humanoid DNA was bind upon by alien life, thus creating intelligent human beings.

What happened to the cohesive and equal system of women and men cohabitation, since the time of their equivalent creation? One irresistible influence which connects female and male as we know it, is sex. Whether they respect and love each other or not, they must make time and seek place for sexual pleasure. Clearly there are flaws in the human brain, and there will always be problems with their attitudes. It becomes apparent, that men in general who must get sexual relief primarily from women, have sought out ways to get sex from them, using some kind of unsavory strategies. Aimed at devaluing women's role and worth in society.

However in the eyes of history, male chauvinism became prominent when religion began to spread and established the acceptance of female relegation. Ironically, the trick caught on, it got acceptance among women and men. Notwithstanding in B.C. era, in people multiplication and prominence, women were equal counterpart to men. They were Queens, Empresses and Princesses etc., and in every way women were known to be noble, not lower than men. It appears that vagina carries much more influence than what men possess in manhood, which could be the reason motivating males to seek a medium of psychological advantage over women.

Never had women been more defamed and deprived in the world of equality, than since the time when Rome inaugurated the A.D. Christian bible, and evangelizing a God who first belittled the woman's character in the Garden of Eden. While savoring the man who was negligent of his incumbent responsibilities.

It appears that God planted the seed of superiority in the mind of the man, who was chief in command and breached his duty, then got off with a lighter punishment.

This article is brought to you by DATING.

How to Reintroduce Yourself to Yourself

How would you introduce yourself to someone you just met for the first time? Would you say?

"Please allow me to introduce my friend, Sally. You know, Sally is quite a fascinating woman - you see, she's always taking such good care of herself, she always makes herself a priority, always going beyond her comfort zone. She works full time, manages her home, takes care of her children and parents, eats so healthily, exercises regularly, travels to new and exciting places, attends weekly yoga classes and still manages to find time to meet up with her friends. My goodness, I have to admit, I'm a little envious of her and all that she does."

Probably not, right?

Is it be more like? "Here's my boring, overwhelmed, tired friend, Sally who never gets to do anything for herself, blah, blah, blah..."

Here are a few re-introductory questions you should be asking yourself, as well as some suggestions:

1. Take yourself out on a hot date - where would you go? What would you like to do?


2. Write down the things you enjoy -- things that matter to you.


3. Observe your limiting beliefs, fears. Are they yours or someone else's that have become a part of you - maybe a parent, an employer - ok, we absolutely have to get rid of these OLD, worn-out beliefs and fears.


4. Be honest with yourself - is there something about you that needs to change in order to leave healthier?


5. What stops you? What starts you?


6. What challenges you? What keeps you stuck?


7. Observe your dreams.


8. What advice would you give a friend who is stuck at a crossroads? Follow that same advice.


9. Where are you spiritually? Is it time for a faith visit?


10. What are your successes and how can you celebrate them?


11. If you were a superhero, what are your powers? What is your name


12. Can I do this alone?


13. Am I having fun yet?


14. How can today be different?


15. Next year, I want to...

Bonus questions:

What are you fears, doubts, limitations?

You need to accept your fears - don't get rid of them, but yet face them, get to know them, thank them and then let them go?

Where is your faith (in yourself)?

How can you embrace your faith and release your fears? God only makes perfection.

You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda

Women Need to Love Themselves MORE

• PLASTIC SURGERY: It should come as no surprise that many women tend to have low self-esteem, especially young women. They want to get work done just to feel wanted/accepted. Now, we're not persecuting those who go under the knife. We promote plastic surgery to an extent, and feel women should get cosmetic work done if only it makes them happy, not because someone wants them to do it. For instance, I have a friend who got her breasts done because her boyfriend wanted her to have bigger boobs, now she's miserable with her extremely large breasts for her small frame, but she did it to make him happy. Bad move. This is now something she has to live with whether he stays or he goes. You should always do what makes you happy. If it is something you want, go for it, but don't do it for somebody else. I cannot stress enough how the most important person in a relationship is YOU. You should do what makes you happy and if you don't have an understanding partner then maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship. Many women are so naturally beautiful they don't even see it. If you want to go for change, all you may need is something as simple as a new haircut, hair color, wardrobe or a bit of makeup for a shocking transformation. No need to call a local plastic surgeon. Celebrities and models are what many women idolize, and this is another reason why women get surgery done not realizing many celebs are highly Photoshopped and far from perfect. I even dare say that many of you are probably even more beautiful than many stars on TV.


• DATING LOSERS: If you've ever dated a player, hold your hands up high I'm raising both of mine. Life is a learning lesson, and we should make these lessons as fun and painless as possible. It's great to have a good time and enjoy yourself. What's not great is staying with a player who treats you like a game. Games are for little boys. And every woman deserves a real person who is mature enough to value a woman's worth. That's where us women go wrong. The player needs someone to play with. If you drop out of the game, he is going to have to play solo or look for a bimbo who will put up with it. You are not that bimbo. If a man/woman can't treat you as the gem you truly are, you don't need that person in your life. Most of the time players are just insecure individuals who need to play with other people to boost their low self-esteem. Don't be a pawn or allow yourself to be used to alter someone's ego. If you're looking to have a great time, then by all means, have FUN. But if you're not, value yourself, know what you want, be aware of what you deserve and keep on moving. Women have so much to offer, the world is filled with many wonderful and beautiful people. Don't settle for crumbs when you can have the whole pie, which leads us to our next topic...


• SETTLING: I see it all the time, women married 15-30 years (sometimes even less time) and they stay with a partner for all of the wrong reasons. Either because you feel comfortable with them, you are doing it for the kids, it has been so many years you don't think you can find anyone better, economic situation, etc. There should be a law that nothing or no one should stop you from being happy. I have an older friend who was married 25 years. She was in a toxic relationship. This man gave her mental, physical and verbal abuse. She said she has taken it for so long it became second nature to her, and at her age she was afraid to leave, or find someone else that she feared could be even worse than her husband. I'm no psychologist (God knows I look at people's clothes instead of their problems), but I wasn't going to judge her way of thinking, she only could express what she knows. However, I knew I didn't need a PhD in Psychology to let her know she needed someone better. I persuaded her, assisted her and she finally divorced this man. It has been 5 years since. She converted into Christianity, met a great Christian man, and at 54 years old she has remarried, but now to this wonderful person who I'm sure isn't perfect, but he treats her with the respect she deserves. She wasted 25 years of her life, she did not need to waste another 25. She didn't have to settle, and I'm glad she didn't. You have to take risks if you want to be safe. Moral of the story is don't be afraid to walkout of an engagement, marriage, or a relationship if it doesn't feel right to you. Forget the consequences. Your happiness is worth everything. If you're not happy you can't make anyone else happy, including your family. And that's unfair to them. Your loved ones would rather see you in pure bliss alone then miserable with someone you don't want to be with.


• SELLING THEMSELVES SHORT: Live life to your own standards. Don't live up to anyone's expectations. Many women don't see what they've got to offer and they allow other people's perception of them bring them down. I know many women who allow other people to demean them, and it's usually other women who are JEALOUS of them. Only you can make yourself feel that way. Never feel less smarter, prepared or attractive than anyone else. My mother always told me, "Remember, you are NOT better than anyone, but DON'T forget, no one is better than you." And I love her for that. Every person has something beautiful to offer don't let anyone tell you different. Many people will try to put you down, so they could elevate themselves. Never question your abilities. You are the most special person ever and you deserve nothing less than the best. We've all got something wonderful to contribute, don't second guess it. When one door closes, in any angle of your life, it is because a better one will open up and trust me, what may seem to be the end of the world, will turn out to be the beginning of a wonderful journey.

LIVE how you want, SAY what you want, DO what you want *as long as you don't hurt nobody, including yourself*!

Four Simple Dressing Principles That Any Woman Can Apply

I am a fan of simplicity. In a previous career as a high school teacher, I came across a book about four simple design principles to apply to any graphic design work. It was by a lady called Robyn, although I do not remember her last name.

It is very easy to get stuck in the trap that a simple success system only works in the area it was written for. I have discovered that Robyn's design principles work in lots of areas. Dressing is graphic design for the body. Let me show you how these four PARC design principles become modern dressing tips for business women over 40.

It does not matter which letter you start with. I will do it in reverse.

C is for Contrast

Contrast is pleasing to our eyes. It makes you stand out in a good way as it helps people remember you. You can express Contrast by wearing two different colours ie a dark colour and a lighter brighter colour. Contrast can be a flat surface on your skirt or pants with a textured top or the reverse. It can also be a slim-fitting skirt or pants with a gathered, flowing or billowing top. Lastly, it can be black clothes worn with contrasting coloured shoes, necklace, scarf, belt or brooch.

R is for Repetition

Repetition brings everything together. It is the secret to being a whole rather than two or three different, unrelated parts. Repetition is the way to have ageless style. Create repetition by picking one or both of your contrasting colours and repeating it or them in your accessory of choice. Another way to express it is by repeating your personality style eg a feminine dress with a feminine accessory. Lastly, to an all-black outfit, add black and white shoes, belt, scarf, necklace or brooch.

A is for Alignment

When you think Alignment, think vertical or diagonal. Only the skinniest of women can get away with wearing clothes that widen them horizontally. A bit of padding or a push-up bra is okay as you are expanding forward not sideways. Diagonal crossovers, tapered pants and long line scarves or necklaces all create a sleeker vertical alignment.

P is for Proximity

Proximity is about accentuating your positives and downplaying your negatives. Your goal is to draw other people's attention upward to your face or towards your best body feature. Interesting necklines or accessories draw attention to your face and that is what people concentrate on when talking to you. Slim skirts show off good legs or a belt emphasises or creates a slim waist. All of these attract people to you when they see you from a distance.

Do this simple check as you are getting dressed - Am I wearing some contrast? Have I repeated a colour or my personality style? Do I look as lean as possible? Am I wearing something special near my face or my best body feature?

You can remember the four principles using the ladylike PARC or you can write it in reverse and it is easier to remember and will stay with you for much longer.

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.

Matching Bags With Lifestyle: What To Buy Your Loved One

Bags are to women as furs are to dogs. Although they may not be required to maintain existence, they are necessities in their own right as they make life more convenient. But as an oblivious man would not suspect, there are actually a number of bag types for women, dedicated to a certain activity or lifestyle. If you are looking to purchase handbags online for your better half, it is important that you first know your options, so you don't box yourself in an idea that may not be as relevant as you thought.

One of the most common bag silhouettes adapted by brands from Louis Vuitton to Victoria's Secret is the doctor bag. It is usually in the form of a duffel bag, only smaller, with a wide mouth and a flat-bottom. Sometimes, the opening is made out of a collapsible metal frame, but recent models now incorporate zippers for closure. The term was coined from the fact that it was primarily used by physicians to carry small medical equipment during house calls. Now, it is the ideal bag for yuppies and formal women, who like to carry a lot of small gadgets and prefer them to be accessible right away.

Next, there's the hobo bag, which is typically made of a soft, pliable material that is formed in the shape of a half moon, and accented with medium length shoulder straps. Frequently, they have intricate and lively patterns and designs, with zip of button closures. Its name is a play on the bag's fashion origin, which is bohemian or "boho". Today, it is the ideal luggage for casual women going on lunches, who are into wearing bohemian type clothing, such as kurtas, flowy skirts and amorphous pants.

Third, there's the clutch bag, which is about 5 to 8 inches long and usually strapless. It is called such because of the fact that it is meant to be held and not worn on the shoulders or hung from the arms. Typically, these bags are structured and decorated with crystals, accents or prints. They are strictly for formal wear and do not provide enough room for a lot of possessions.

And then, there's the handbag and the shoulder bag. Both are similar in the sense that they have rectangular structures, soft features and come as either small, medium or large. The only difference is that their straps don't measure any longer than 5 inches and 10 inches respectively. Handbags online and in stores are meant to be carried rather than slung like the shoulder bag. But both of them are very chic, and they mutually go well with semi-formal and formal occasions and outfits.

Lastly, there's the athletic or duffel bag, which are large and long. They can be made of either leather or canvas, but they are commonly fixed with both hands and body straps. They all have characteristically huge openings and roomy structures too, as they are meant to accommodate big things like sporting equipment and gym apparel. They are ideal to give to women who are into sports, and they can ably double as a weekend or vacation bag, if needed.

Breastfeeding With Large Boobs

Is it a myth or fact that it is harder to breast feed when you have bigger boobs? Personally I feel it is a myth, the main thing is to make sure your baby is positioned correctly which allows them to feed and is also suitable way for you. I think having bigger boobs just means you have to use a different technique to a woman with smaller boobs. I fall into the DD+ category, I have just finished breastfeeding with my one year old girl.

Initially I encouraged my baby to latch onto me herself; this was fine to start with. However I found once my milk started to come in that it would take me ages to feed my baby as she would mess about with my nipples and fling her arms around everywhere making it virtually impossible to feed her. Fortunately I had a very good midwife come to visit me so I mentioned the problem I was having. She told me I needed to take control of the feeding, not the baby. Firstly I had to wrap a blanket round my baby to keep her arms out of the way, this was one of the best tips I was given! Secondly I lined my baby up with my nipple and boob then brushed my nipple against her mouth, once her mouth opened wide (mouth does have to be open wide) I gently but firmly pushed her onto my nipple. I was also advised to support the back of my baby's head with one hand and support my boob with the other. Once I had mastered the art of taking control my baby rarely messed about so my nipples weren't as sore.

If you are struggling to breast feed keep going as it does get easier, speak to your midwife, health visitor or contact the National Breastfeeding Helpline on 0300 100 0212. Also join your local mothers and toddlers group and get talking to other mothers, they can be a useful source of information. Remember that breastfeeding is new to both you and your baby and it will take time and patience to get it right. Some areas of the UK have breastfeeding support groups, I never attended one of these but I know of other new Mums who did and they found it helpful. They are usually run by women who have breastfed themselves and received additional training.

To help with sore nipples used to spend a bit of time with no top or bra on. I fed my little girl using skin to skin contact then I wipe my nipples clean and just sit with no top on with my baby on my knee for 15 or 20 minutes (I made sure the door was locked!). I have also massaged a little breast milk into my nipples and also use Boots Expert Moisturising Nipple Cream. To absorb any leakage I used Boots Washable Breast Pads, these are great as they can be re-used but I also found them more comfortable than the disposable breast pads.

Use a good supporting nursing bra preferably lined with a natural material like cotton, meaning you are less likely to be sensitive to the material or sweat too much. My preferred nursing bras are from Hotmilk, Freya, Cake and Lorna Drew, all do larger cup size nursing bras. Hotmilk don't go up as far in cup size as Lorna Drew and Freya. I purchased my bras from the following sites;

http://www.nursingbra-shop.co.uk

http://www.bra-chest.co.uk

Hotmilk bras have a lovely supportive lining which I really liked, sometimes they were a bit too over decorative if I wanted to wear under a summer top. Freya are fairly plain so great for under summer tops as well as being supportive and having a good size range. The Cake bra I bought I wore towards the end of breastfeeding, this had a flexible wire in which gave me a better shape, however I wouldn't have liked to worn this when I first started to breast feed. I felt the Cake bra wasn't as flexible, a bra with a bit of give in it is essential to start with as my breasts would change in size between and after feeds. I found the Lorna Drew bra good for fluctuating breast size, these bras have an extra plastic clip which adjusts the cup size of the bra which is an excellent idea and makes for a more comfortable fit.

The best advice I received when I first set out breastfeeding was to persevere as it does get easier, it just takes time. After all you and your baby are doing something new, something neither of you have done before.

This article is brought to you by ONLINE DATING.

Tips on Bridal Headdresses to Suit Long Hair - The French Pleat

I have long hair and know how difficult it can be to actually have a 'style' sometimes. So, on your wedding day you have visions of gorgeous long flowing locks, but then another vision of a stunning pleat all wrapped up with a few ringlets to accentuate the face. Then yet another vision of masses or curls and a half up and half down design and a 60s style flower circlet and the list goes on. The reason the lists goes on girls is because let's face it, with long hair we can pretty much choose whichever bridal hair style we desire! It is well worth sitting down with your hair stylist and going through some of the books. Of course, it is likely that you may already have your dress and may have already tried on your perfect headdress so make sure you take your headdress or tiara to your hair stylist so she can best advise you on which hair styles will work with your chosen headdress because not all work as smoothly as we would hope!

Classical French Pleat

This is an age old favourite and has been updated over the years with various twists and turns but this style is perfect for a hair comb or hair pins. If you get a good quality bridal headdress or bridal tiara, you will notice that there are small wire holes around the comb, these are so your hair stylist can firmly secure your bridal hair comb into your style to hopefully minimise the risk of your style falling too much throughout your big day! The beauty with hair pins is these are a lot lighter and generally easier to position. Again, if the pins have a Marcasite feature on them or a fresh water coin pearl that can make the bridal hair pin a bit more heavier weight, the good quality hair pins will also have a separate loop in them to secure another hair grip alongside the bridal hair pin to further secure their position within your hair style. There some gorgeous bridal hair pins available at the moment and it is well worth shopping around to find a company that can tailor these to complement your dress, hair colour, bridal colour theme and even your bridal bouquet. With the use of Swarvoski crystals, hand dyed lace, fresh water pearls and pure silk, you can end up with a stunning and extremely cost effective bridal headdress set that is perfect.

The Fashionista's Checklist for Spring

I just did a little research on what was Hot for spring and summer, I didn't find some things I thought I would like wedges and any kind of sunglasses Michael Kors whole collection was snubbed -*insert evil laugh here* I am sorry but fashionistas don't go hunting or wear clothes that make us look like we do. But here is the list, are you ready? The fashionista Check list:

• Mint green as a skirt or a shirt a bag, this color is it for spring and summer among other pastels I have seen floating around the fashion mags

• Orange is another color that is ruling the runways and shops this season and is so popular it seems like the new black.

• Neon Purses, bold bold bold purses are in every style every brand and every store.

• God has answered my prayers the kitten heel is back, in all sorts of styles lace, multi-colored everywhere.

• Feathers are huge this season as earrings and hair clips you can see them just about anywhere

• Stripes from top to bottom, stripes seem to be the biggest print this season

• The one shoulder dress. In any color this dress makes a statement.

• Black and white paired together in a sea of bright and demure colors black and white really stands out from the crowd. Lace is every where, shoes, tops, dresses, it brings a real womanly touch to any outfit.

• To go in a completely different direction, paisley is huge right now in bold colors in maxi dresses and short dresses alike.

• Higher waist band shorts.

• Gladiator sandals, pair them with your maxi dress or your high waist band shorts they are versatile and come in colors and with heels this season.

• Shoes of all kinds with flowers on them.

• Multiple styles of metallic shoes are every where. A clutch is a must have for this season. Go for a neutral one that goes with anything.

• Huge jewelry in bright colors are the order of the season, in metallic, pearls, colored oversized beads- Go BIG or go home.

The Top Ten Trends that Never go out of style; do you have them all?

1. The trench Coat.

2. A classic pump.

3. The little black dress.

4. The sheath dress.

5. Boot cut jeans.

6. A turtle neck.

7. Classic cut trousers.

8. The Cashmere shawl (although I believe a nice shawl doesn't HAVE to be cashmere).

9. The tote handbag.

10. Diamond studded earrings.

This article is brought to you by DATING SERVICE.

How Do Women Avoid Breaking Down In Front Of Others?

You've all done it at some point in your life. Perhaps it was that comment made by a superior at work, or at the board meeting; or perhaps it was just your being too tired or ragged to have control over holding back those tears. It was your worst moment in your life, including your cracking voice; and the more you tried to stop, the worst it got.

As a woman you are an emotional breed that embodies the extremes of caring and crying at any time of the day. However, at work you try to be professional and to not only fit in with the executive males; but also, impress your clients or customers. You are the one that wants to make change, break the glass ceiling, and achieve the respect of your business partners. Indeed, as a bright woman, you absolutely know how to increase profits and streamline systems.

However, you don't know how to control your emotional "mistiming." As a Speech and Drama Coach, I am often asked "How can I control my voice when my emotion takes over?" So, here are three key strategies that have worked for my clients to allow you to be master of your emotional voices, so you will not break down at the wrong time.

Key #1 Consciously Breathe:

Taking deep breaths will calm you immediately, if you breathe with the diaphragm. The diaphragm is just below the rib cage and you can feel its presence if you place your hand on your sides, or lower back, or stomach areas. It is not belly breathing; but encompasses your entire rotund lower cavity as it inflates like a balloon when you take in a breath. As you speak it is pushing the air out, or letting the air out of the balloon, expelled through your mouth.

Why is it important to use this natural breathing process that you did as a baby; but for many of you have lost this technique? It's because any shallow breathing focussed solely in the upper chest and shoulder or neck area is less powerful. Shallow or clavicle breathing increases when we are stressed and escalates to produce panic attacks. The more you breathe incorrectly and quickly; the more anxious you become.

Having control of your breathing is accomplished by practising diaphragmatic exercises, after you have relaxed your mind and body tension. One example is to lie on the floor with your hand or book on your upper stomach, breathe in for a count of three so the book rises; hold your breath for a count of three; then slowly let your breath out for a count of four or five. Repeat this exercise a few times using your mind to focus and relax yourself as you do it. Now, the technique is to transfer this breathing style while you are standing, perhaps at work in a vulnerable situation. Set your mind to immediately take three deep diaphragmatic breaths. You will experience sudden calmness and patience. You will be in control.

Key #2 Focus Your Tone:

When you are tense or anxious, your voice pitch rises to make you sound nervous or on edge. You can control lowering your pitch level so your tone does not sound timid, weak, or fearful by following your three deep breaths with a definite pause. Then tell your inner voice or mind the message, for example, to: "lower my tone as if I'm an executive in charge politely giving directions to some stranger to the front door." This puts you in charge of sounding calm and authoritative to the other person without falling apart. The trick is to keep your mind focussed on the outcome of your message and not on how you feel at that moment. Later, when you have left the situation behind you, you can let it all out to your compassionate listener at home. Practise this with a partner in a role-playing situation of arguing your point of view on some topic. Then you will be ready to implement your new strategy when it suddenly jumps at you.

Key #3 Slow Your Pace:

Your immediate reaction in confrontational situations is to get your word in there at all costs. This also leads to speaking too quickly, along with your pitch rising, and results in your efforts being weakened. The strategy here is to follow up your lower tone of voice by deliberately slowing your speech. Initially you may think you speak too slowly, but with practise you will find what speed is just right for you, so your feelings are not creeping into your conversation. This is a great tactic to give the impression that you are an expert deeply considering what has been said; so, that your next words are emotionally free, and handled by you to leave the situation without crying.

These three strategies work together as a team and will support your skill of overpowering your emotional side that makes you look vulnerable. Crying and caring are emotions that you need as a way to release your fears, sadness, and tension; or to show compassion. It is this quality as a woman that makes you a better leader and person. By having the control on your breathing, tone of your voice, and pace of delivery you will not break down suddenly; but you will show confidence and feel confident. Your voice is an amazing tool to leverage and empower your strengths and emotions. Use your voice to avoid breaking down unnecessarily.

Written by Brenda C. Smith

This article is brought to you by FREE DATING.

Recent Study Indicates Women's Fertility Declines At 27

Balancing a professional and personal life is a difficult task for any woman and a recent study that indicates fertility is decreasing at a younger age than previously thought is not making that task any easier.

Previous studies suggested that a woman's ability to conceive did not start to decline until her 30's, but a new study indicates that the decline actually begins at 27-years-old. The study even indicates that there could be up to a 50% decrease in fertility by the time a woman turns 30 years of age.

Many women, who previously didn't think they would even consider starting a family before the age of 30, have been rethinking their plans for the future.

"My mother didn't have me until she was 34, so I sort of imagined that's when I would start having children, but now I'm thinking that may be too late," said one 26-year-old woman.

The study was conducted by the Institute of Environmental Health Services in North Carolina and was published in the Journal of Human Reproduction. Though fertility declines are higher than previously thought the study says a woman can still conceive in her late 30's, it just may take more menstrual cycles for it to happen.

Most women are aware that fertility starts to decline with age, but most women may not be aware of when the decline starts to occur and how quickly it can affect plans to have children. Young women hear anecdotes about women having children at 40 and beyond, but the truth is those cases are the outliers.

A survey conducted by the American Infertility Association last year showed that from the over 12 thousand respondents only one was aware that fertility begins to decline before the age of 30. Almost half of the respondents thought the decline started at 40.

The survey indicates many women are overestimating the amount of time they have left on their biological clock.

The study from the EHS in North Carolina also studied male fertility. The study showed that male fertility begins to decline at 35 years of age and can be lessened by 40% by the age of 40.

Many things in life don't go as planned, and maybe any plans we set are futile, but the one thing we can control is our education. The more we know about our body and health, the better chances our plans will have to come to fruition.

I hope this article helps your plans do just that.

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Jewellery and Tattoos

You'd be surprised to know that a lot of the tattoos people wear have jewellery that could go incredibly well with them. Over the years tattooing on females has become more and more popular with more and alternative options in piercing, cloths and hairstyles it was only natural that woman would want to stand apart in their tattoos and jewellery too. Jewellery is typically stereotyped towards a more classical look, but in the recent years it has been noticed that young woman are attracted to other themed styles too.

Piercings and jewellery are starting to blend together more and more as new trends come and go, girls can be seen with a multitude of eye catching piercings on there ears, nose, tongue, lips bellybuttons and even cheeks. This has opened up a whole range of unique ways jewellery can be attached to the body.

With all these altered looks being shown off how are females choosing to wear their bracelets, rings and necklaces? This is where it gets interesting, as of late you can see that modern jewellery once more associated to men such as metal and leather bracelets being mixed in with more feminine classy pieces by woman to create a balanced look that's appeals to the femininity of a woman while adding a unique and artistic touch. Combining tattoos, bright hair colours, piercings and unique jewellery seems to be a trend constantly growing and changing as of late.

Below will be a list of popular female tattoos and how you could add to your overall look by adding jewellery which is similar.

Butterfly jewellery
Butterfly tattoos are one of the most popular tattoos females will be drawn towards. There are plenty of different types of earrings, bracelets and necklaces with butterflies made from a certain gemstone or just out of a certain metal as gold or silver.

Tribal jewellery
Tribal tattoos can have meanings and are known to be placed on the lower back. Tribal jewellery could be lots of things such as animal tooth pieces and leather bracelets that could be associated towards certain tribes or even just spiral designs and crosses.

Star jewellery
Symbolizing stars has been practised since almost since the earth began. These tattoos come in different shapes and sizes and can be very detailed at times; star jewellery on the other hand is often relatively simple with basic star designs hanging from necklaces or earrings.

Flower jewellery
Flowers match girls perfectly as they are the ultimate feminine symbol. Common flower tattoos could be cherry blossoms, daisies, roses, lilies and sunflowers. Designs could be just one large flower or a collection of small and colourful ones. Jewellery can come in a variety of ways even set in brooches while smaller flowers can fit daintily on rings or necklaces.

Fairy jewellery
Representing mysterious and magical powers fairy tattoos are plentiful. Fairy jewellery is relatively rare but certain figures can be seen on some necklaces.

Heart jewellery
Heart tattoos represent love and romance and come in all shapes and sizes with different additions being added to the design such as cupid angels and roses. Heart jewellery is especially popular on necklaces and lockets. Hearts are often made from ruby or garnet gemstones or can be just silver or gold.

Dragonfly jewellery
Most girls wouldn't like insects apart from dragonflies as they are thought to be cute creatures that live with butterflies and fairies. Dragonfly jewellery is more commonly purchased made out of just sterling silver although there are variants with an array of colours throughout the insect's body.

Dolphin jewellery
Dolphins are majestic, playful creatures of the sea that have an almost human like quality to them that woman are drawn to. Adding dolphin jewellery to your outfit can represent your love of the sea even if you don't already have ocean themed tattoos. Dolphins can come in earring form, attached to necklaces or even attached to pearl rings while predominantly being made of silver as it almost matches the colour of their skin.

These are just some of the examples of how you could incorporate jewellery into your tattoos. Looking more deeper into the different meanings of your body enhancements and tattoos can give you a new appreciation for what you are wearing while giving you more ideas to further customize your look.

It's a given that trends will change over time but what's most important is that whatever piece of jewellery or art you have on yourself makes you yourself happy while appealing to your inner creative and expressive side. Customizing yourself physically is accepted in many different cultures around the world and while some may think oddly of it it's what you think of it that truly matters.

A Stranger Within You!

It was during one of my antenatal visits to my doctor, that I realized that the constant nudges kicks and the overwhelming presence of a living being I kept feeling, actually belonged to a stranger. A nameless, faceless stranger who is dearer to me than any other thing in this whole, big world. I'm surrounded with people all around, but only I am aware of its presence!

As a romantic and sensitive girl, I am used to loving people and things that have appealed to my sensory perceptions and creative and intelligent aspect. And even after questioning myself repeatedly over and over again, I couldn't explain my overwhelming love, and unquestionable feeling and passion for something that is as abstract to me as far as the meaning of the word goes!

May be that's why being a mother means! Each one of us must at some point of time, have heard from our mothers, "you will understand this, when you will be a mother yourself."

YES mom, I understand. I understand very well.

Now, I know what it means to love unconditionally, what it takes to bear a lot of pain to keep one life safe and cocooned from the "aggressive, unfavorable world" (believe me, it takes nothing at all!); how sacrifices, however big or small, seem minuscule when compared with those nudges or caresses.

Ever heard that every time you feel someone nudging or nagging, instead of getting irritated you smile? And you miss those nags when they don't come for a long time! Readers may find it strange or even pathetic, but the experienced one (read MOTHERS!) would know what I mean!

Physiologically speaking, the unique requirements that your growing fetus places on her placenta, creates alterations for the aesthetic management of a pregnant woman. During the whole course of pregnancy and birth, there are physiological and anatomical changes in your body. The ever increasing demands of pregnancy hormones, the metabolic demands of the fetus, placenta and uterus bring about these changes. The cardiovascular output increases, blood pressure ranges from low blood pressure in early pregnancy to high blood pressure in late pregnancy; total volume of the lungs decreases; the gastrointestinal system is affected; endocrinal hormones are at an all-time high; and all this to adjust the new life taking its form within you.

Psychologically speaking, whole new arrays of conflicting emotions are at your disposal. Fear, anxiety, ecstasy, happiness, anticipation, expectations, and irritation all roll in one to make you a new person. The fear of losing your baby, the anxiety of not being able to take care of the baby, ecstasy of nurturing a living proof of your love within yourself, happiness of having your own bundle of joy, anticipations of a new yet challenging and different life, expectations (and sometimes as irrational as they can be) from your partner, and irritation at your husband. Blame it all on your hormones. Marked with disturbing and elating dreams, the inception of motherhood is the beginning of a remarkable journey of you as person and life as a dream!

Motherhood entails with it all that you ever thought yourself capable of. It brings with it the realization of your real self and helps you to recognize that there is someone you can love more than your life, even if it's a "stranger within you!"

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I'm No Size Zero

Every day I walk into the bathroom I see girls checking their hair, doing their makeup, and sometimes even complaining about how they look. Girls are very critical when it comes to appearance and feel that they need to be skinny have perfect hair, spotless skin, and a great wardrobe. Everything needs to be perfect. Why should this matter? It really shouldn't but society has made such a big deal about beauty, being skinny, having clear skin, perfect teeth and so on. We are constantly looking in the mirror making sure everything looks perfect. Today, girls are so self-conscious about what people think or say about them, and it's becoming so bad it often causes self harm and self-hatred. Self-image is the talk of the town and everyone is worried about it.

Self esteem and body image issues are very apparent in high schools and elementary schools everywhere. Approximately seven million girls and woman struggle with eating disorders. If you haven't already noticed when you look at movie stars and celebrities on the red carpet or at any event they talk about what brand they are wearing, their shoes, how flattering they look in their dress and so on. The image that magazines and television programs are telling us is that beauty is everything. The headline of Star magazine says, 45 Best and Worst Beach Bodies. It's obvious that Star is making fun of the worst and therefore portraying that you need to have a nice body. Some statistics say, the average American woman 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5'6" tall and weighs 117 pounds. As you can see models tend to be a lot skinnier. This starts to make a person feel that they need to look like models which again causes eating disorders, insecurities, and poor self esteem.

Another problem that contributes to low self-esteem is caused by Twitter and Facebook. Although these sites are known all across the world and are quite the addiction, they cannot always be the best. On these social websites there is a constant need to update your profile and get a new profile picture. How can I possibly edit myself to look like I have perfect white teeth, or the clearest skin possible? Everyone feels that they need to alter a picture in order for it to be beautiful. When inward beauty should be what you are known for and why people find you stunning. Beauty isn't always and shouldn't be about what's on the outside but should be about what you have in your heart. I'm talking about your personality, how you treat others, kindness, helping others, being positive. For example, Oprah, she gives amazing advice and tries her best to help people. Yet she would not necessarily fall under the category of what our society thinks is "beautiful". Our society is so caught up on trying to bring out the best products for your skin, and the best diet pills when they should not even exist. Everyone is created beautiful and unique and you don't need any thousand dollar cream or the latest ten day diet pill to make you beautiful.

Three of the Best-Dressed Women of the World

The International Best Dressed List is considered as the highest honor for all those who are into men's and women's fashion. This citation was founded by American fashion public relations great Eleanor Lambert in 1940. Since then, male and female style icons from various cultures and professions have been inducted into the list. They have all displayed impeccable elegance in not just their outfits, but in their overall appeal every time they appear in public.

Some of the women in this list contributed distinctive styles that have become classics. Among these inductees are Jackie Kennedy-Onassis, Josie Natori, and Audrey Hepburn.

Jackie Kennedy-Onassis, now often called in the media as Jackie O, became an instant fashion symbol as soon as her late husband, John F. Kennedy, became president of the United States of America. With outfits made by renowned fashion designer Oleg Cassini, she wore dresses that dictated the trend in ladies' wear in various countries. Many women idolized her and wanted to be like her. Among her most famous outfits were the fawn coat she wore to her husband's Inauguration Day and her gown in the Inaugural gala. When you say "the Jackie O look," people automatically think of a suit consisting of a mid-knee skirt, a jacket with a notch collar, and three-quarter sleeves. It's completed with low-heeled pumps and a pillbox hat.

Josie Natori can truly be considered as a woman of fashion. She doesn't only dress great, but she also makes a great line of women's clothing. She's a Filipina fashion designer and the CEO of The Natori Company, which produces some of the world's finest high-end lingerie, sleepwear, loungewear, and underwear. Her collection, which is sold in upscale department stores in the US and other countries, is a favorite among celebrities. She is known for her simple, sleek silhouettes and bold accessories. A splash of color against a background of black is her signature look. She's also ventured into perfumes, towels, and eyewear recently.

Actress Audrey Hepburn, an inductee in the International Best Dressed List Hall of Fame, is definitely one of the best-dressed women to grace the screen. In fact, the dresses she wore in two of her movies made such a huge impact that they became classic silhouettes for women with discriminating tastes in fashion. The bateau neck from the dresses she wore in Sabrina (1954) is now also known as the Sabrina neckline. Aside from this, her elegant black dress from Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) has been imitated by many and was sold for thousands of dollars in one of the auctions at Christie's.

Dressing up requires creativity and common sense. This is why you shouldn't be surprised that the people named in the International Best Dressed List are people who not only look good, but also contribute styles that have become an inspiration to many.

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The Woman's Cave

If men can have a "man cave" then by all means, women should be able to have a "woman cave". It would be a great place where all women can have all of their favorite things. She can have a nice book shelf that holds all of her favorite books. She can also place all of her favorite scented candles in her woman cave or her favorite melting pot to heat all of the scented tarts that will make her women cave smell so much better than any man cave.

She can even have her favorite personalized signs hanging on the wall. She can hang wooden signs that express all of the things a woman needs to express, such as not to bother her right now, she's in the middle of a great romance novel. She might also like to have a sign that says not to bother her she is stressed out and just want to be left alone.

There are many wooden signs that will help any woman turn even the smallest area into a great woman cave. She can hang them on the walls so that all of the other women who are fortunate enough to be welcomed inside can admire them. They will go great with the doilies that she has adorning her table.

Another great item for the woman cave would be a single cup coffee maker; it would give her great use. She can select her flavor of coffee without having to go the family kitchen and risk running into one of the kids who might need something from her or her husband who can never find what he is looking for. A wood sign over the coffee maker ordering everyone to keep their hands off of it would be perfect.

A nice little table that is set up with all of the items that she needs to do her nails would be a great addition to any woman cave. She can have all of her nail polishes, emery boards and manicuring tools right there and ready to use. A personalized wooden sign that lets everyone know that this manicure station is strictly for her and her guest to use only would be the perfect embellishment to hang on the wall over her manicure table.

A woman should be able to have all of the things that she loves in her man cave. It's a great place to insure that when she sets something down, it will still be there when she comes back for it the next time. Wow, just the thought of being able to set something down and it staying where you left it is a good enough reason itself for a woman having her own woman cave.

When you are ready to establish your woman cave, make sure that you choose plenty of personalized signs or wooden signs that let everyone know without a doubt that this woman cave belongs to you and no one else, you might even want them to know that they are not even allowed to visit.

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Tips on Choosing the Right Jewellery - Crystal or Pearl

All women know that 'diamonds are supposed to be a girl's best friend', but let's face it, how many of us have diamonds, or any that are worth speaking about let alone being 'best friends'?! The first hint of a diamond for any woman could well be her engagement ring. Whether chosen by her soon to be husband or chosen herself, this first diamond is one to keep hold of and cherish but what about other stones, what about semi-precious stones? Today Cubic Zironcia (CZ) is a well known and cheaper diamond alternative and in a lot of cases, to an untrained eye, they do sparkle sensationally and at a fraction of the price, are a very attractive understudy. Zircon on the other hand is somewhat different and more rare and therefore more precious than it's manmade buddy CZ. Zircon shines beautifully and in many ways it is virtually impossible for the untrained eye to know the difference between Zircon and diamond. What about Swarvoski crystals? These too scintillate when light hits them and any movement results in a rainbow disco ball effect that is breathtaking. Semi-precious stones today have been made into gorgeous jewellery and when matched with Swarvoski crystals you get lovely results and expensive looking items. As for pearls, these come in so many different shapes and sizes and if you have a pearl with a triple 'a' lustre, that is of exceptionally high quality, there is no other gem like it. Fresh water coin pearls are such great value for money as you get a lot of pearl for your money. Round pearls are the common favourite with the more unusual shapes i.e. potatoe pearls, rice pearls, abalone and blister to name a few that are now making more of a statement in jewellery.

Brides have for many many years worn pearls as a symbol of purity and as the oldest known gem the pearl is here to stay with regards to bridal jewellery. Today jewellery designers and manufacturers have put pearls with Marcasite and Sterling Silver to create a gorgeous combination. As pearls come in so many shapes, sizes and shades, brides and women in general are somewhat spoilt for choice. Pearls need not seem old fashioned! Our visions of our Grandmother and her string of pearls around her neck should only serve to give us a heartwarming reminder of the pearl's timeless beauty, decadence and classic charm. Each gem has a place of it's own I'm sure in every woman's collection but for me pearls win hands down every time!

Acupuncture For Infertility: A Different Type Of Treatment

Starting a family is an exciting adventure for a couple who wishes to become parents. When you have reached the point where having a baby is what you want, it can be devastating when becoming pregnant does not happen easily. After months of trying with no luck, you may find yourself feeling hopeless and defeated. It is extremely devastating when you have been diagnosed as being infertile.

After the decision to have a baby many joys are dreamed of and learning that you will face difficulties getting pregnant is a hard concept to adjust to for both you and your partner. There is hope for couples experiencing infertility, and we are lucky enough to live in an age with many options and treatments including acupuncture for infertility.

Acupuncture for Infertility Without Medical Intervention

Before meeting with medical doctors, some couples prefer to try a more holistic approach working with different alternative therapies such as acupuncture for infertility. Acupuncture comes from what we consider to be ancient China and is the treatment of disease by using needles strategically placed to open certain energy channels in the body. Acupuncture is used to address many ailments of the human body such as anxiety, weight loss, chronic pain and other issues.

When you receive acupuncture for infertility, it is not exactly a targeted treatment. Along with treatment for the reproductive issues, the acupuncturist treats the whole body for balance.

There are studies that show a success rate of becoming pregnant after acupuncture for infertility without ever using medical assistance. An example of an infertility drug that contains many side effects, such as multiple births, is Clomid.

When a woman receives acupuncture for infertility, the alternative treatment has shown to stimulate egg production with the same levels of success for pregnancy as Clomid. The statistics that are shown for acupuncture for infertility should be enough to persuade you to try it even if you fully plan on trying other medical routes.

Acupuncture for Infertility With The Aide Of Medical Resources

After you receive a diagnoses that declares you have an infertility problem you will most likely be sent to see a reproductive endocrinologist. It is beneficial for a woman with infertility issues to attend acupuncture for infertility sessions alongside scheduling and attending regular medical exams.

At worst, the holistic approach cannot hurt; studies show it can help both the mental and physical health of a woman. There are published studies and various writings on combining a modern medicine approach with various holistic treatments.

Women treated with both IVF and acupuncture for infertility have a higher rate of becoming pregnant than women treated only with IVF. Many well known and highly touted infertility centers now have office space devoted to an acupuncturist so they can combine techniques and their expertise.

Approaches for Infertile Couples

However you choose to approach dealing with an infertility problem, whether you try acupuncture for infertility or something else, it is important to keep in mind that it will be emotionally stressful and will affect your relationship. As a couple, you need to work together to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy as a couple or on an individual basis is a common way to stay emotionally healthy during this period of significant stress.

Gestational surrogate, donor eggs, donor sperm and adoption are a few other options even the most infertile couples can take to successfully become parents. To choose the best next step for you and your partner, be sure to speak with an endocrinologist.

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