Is Being Good, Good Enough?

Is being Good, in itself, Enough?

Your partner is off to a party. You are concerned, a little afraid, that they may be seduced into a liaison, however brief. Should this infidelity come to pass, you feel your relationship would be over. That is where you would draw the line.

"Why create a stink, over something that has not yet happened, or indeed, may not happen"? - you tell yourself. You bypass the "nuclear" button, flicking the "warning shot across the bows" switch instead. During your parting hug, you whisper, "please be good"! "Don't worry", is the carefree response, and off they go to the party.

Fate, plays its hand

Your partner returns in the wee hours but this is nothing untoward. The red sky in the morning, is, by itself, not a cause for concern. The story resumes at a time that is too late to call breakfast, but too early to call lunch. You take your seats at the table. It is crunch time.

After a quick glance at the bolognese, you conclude it will be better not to mince your words. "Were you unfaithful last night?"

"No I wasn't". The negative response, which provided much needed relief, was only momentary. The response, though legally and technically correct, did not follow the spirit of the law. When that spirit is laid bare, you are left, in contrast, trembling with shock and anger. The devil, truly is, in the detail.

Does the End, Excuse the Means?

You learn that your partner was not the seduction target, but the source. Nothing happened. True. In fact, nothing happened twice.

The shenanigans could be nonchalantly described as being but a whisker away, a hair's breadth, from actually happening. Nothing was notched up, menos mal. Call it what you will, the absence of any kiss and tell fabric, could be pot luck, the grace of God, even fate playing its hand.

All's Well that Ends Well!

Shakespeare said, "all's well that ends well". The above demonstrates that this is not necessarily always the case. A good ending, does not mean we set out with good intentions. Neither does it mean that we "carried ourselves", we behaved, in a proper manner. This middle part, carrying ourselves, can be best illustrated, by the creeping up game.

The Creeping Up Game

This Creeping Up Game, is one that children the world over enjoy. Let us flesh out how the game is played.

One player stands facing a wall. The other players stand behind a line some distance away. They try to creep up and touch the wall. The player facing the wall can turn round at any time. Any player seen moving must return to the base line. The first player to reach the wall takes the place of the player against the wall, and the game begins again.

The creeping up game is clearly not all cloak and daggers. But its darker side is about disguising intent. You shouldn't be caught moving forward. Nor is it just about luck. Those who are good at the game will be good at predicting when the player "at the wall" is going to turn around.

Creeping Up is Creepy

If you've been joining the dots, you'll have associated the creeping up game with the "pulling" game, which is the game of finding a partner. Both games penalize creepy behavior! So you do not want to get spotted moving forward. To win, in either game, you need to get to the one who is "not looking", before someone else does.

Sum Up the Narrative of Being Good

Why not sum up, our short narrative of being good.

1. a happy ending does not imply that there is nothing to be sad about
2. "to begin well" or to have good intent is as important as ending well
3. cloak and dagger antics can over-shadow intent, "good" or otherwise

We need to begin with good intentions. We need the execution to be "good at heart". Just as important, we need the outcome, when all is said and done, to be good!

Good. A function of people and time

Listen out for the oft repeated narrative. "Be good". "Have you been good"? "Were you good today"? "Good" is presented as a function of a person and time. She was not good yesterday. Begin to think of "being good", as a function of three (3) key things.

1. First think of "good", as a function of a person's intent.
2. Second consider whether the "execution", of intent, was "good".
3. Third, "good", is a function of the outcome. Did it end "good"?