Women, Weight and Hoarding

In working with my female clients, there is one commonality that I have found whatever the degree of hoarding or clutter that cannot go uncommented upon. Women's closets are always filled with clothing of various sizes from very small to very large despite their current size. This is a curiosity to me and one which I instantly realized must be tread upon quite carefully.

I first noticed this phenomena when working with one client who's primary hoard is books. Though the rest of the apartment is seriously cluttered it was her closet, so chock full of clothing, that caught my attention. When I asked what percentage of clothing she actually wore she replied "about 5%". I couldn't help but compute and respond, "so 95% of your closet is filled with things you will not be wearing in the foreseeable future". She was forced to agree. We have not approached the closet yet in our work together.

Another client decided that she wanted to start with her closets which are filled with clothing ranging from size 8 to 14. It was quite an emotional experience for her and she is not able to tolerate more than 40 minutes of work before leaving the room to take solace elsewhere in the apartment. I always give her a little alone time after she leaves; I finish putting things in their proper places while she consoles herself. But I do try and talk to her about this reaction. "It's all about weight you know", she tells me. Well, maybe for the clothes, but not for the rest of the clutter. But I also can't ignore her substantial consternation about her weight. She is an attractive woman who does not fit our ideal for body shape for women of today.

Though I am not a woman with weight issues (in fact, I'm an underweight man) I do know that I have hit on something here of which I have no understanding. I'm very aware that we live in a society that values slender women, verging on anorexia. In fact, given what I've heard about weight loss groups where perfectly on target women claim to be "fat" I'm cognizant that we devalue women who don't fit these unreasonable ideals. I've read about anorexic teenagers and the ravages of that disease.

I'm curious about my female readers experience with weight and clothes and what you can tell men about this that we don't know. Any answers to my many questions?

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.