Friends don't let Friends date without guidelines! We all want love and affection, someone to hold our hand, walk in the park with and look googley eyed at. To get to these stages we have to start out by dating. When dating is done right, the end result can be a healthy relationship leading to marriage and exclusivity. When dating goes wrong there are extenuating situations that become living nightmares where the cops may have to be called.
Both parties need to be protected from dating predators but as females we need to protect ourselves doubly. Unfortunately men are the physically stronger sex. So this article is geared towards us women and men you can feel free to read, but this is just for us. Dear women, we should never put ourselves in precarious situations.
First dates should always be held in a public place. This includes people you meet on the internet and people you feel comfortable with after you give them your number. Men should never come to your private residence for a first date, especially women with children. You never know how a date will end. We should always keep ourselves and our families safe. Once a man knows where you live it's hard to pick up and move.
Women, we are emotional creatures we love closeness, wanting to be loved and needed. Sex is a surefire way to get extra close to another human being. I have to be completely honest I believe in celibacy. I haven't always been a celibacy advocate, but once I became saved I started living the Christian lifestyle. The Bible says that there should be no sex before marriage so this was a major change for me because I had no problem testing the waters. I found when my mind wasn't clouded and plagued by the remembrance of sexual relations then the break ups were easier and the pain was not as bad. I moved on easier because there were no sexual soul ties. That's just my stance on why I believe in celibacy. But if you're not subscribing to the celibacy gazette, ladies please be careful. There are countless cases of rape, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted or unplanned pregnancies as a result of sexual encounters.
When I speak about rape I am not talking about a stranger throwing you in the bushes type of rape. I'm talking about what the authorities call date rape. Date rape is when you may think you're ready, you're getting hot and steamy and right before the act is consummated you get second thoughts. You decide maybe this isn't for you, and you feel that you are not ready, but the guy doesn't want to stop. You know you have said no and you think maybe he hasn't heard clearly so you start to struggle to get his attention. Now the situation has gotten scary. Nobody wants to go through this situation, so the best remedy ties into my first part of this message which is be sure you get to know your date before he can step foot in your dwelling. The same goes for you going into his. That cuts down on a lot of mixed messages that may be being sent. Plan your dates they don't have to be boring. In your mind know you're going A,B,C,D and if you want to alter the plan that's fine, but at least you have an idea of what you wanted to do. Prayerfully let's go to your place or my place won't come into play.
Once you've made the decision to take your relationship to the next level because you now know him, you're comfortable with him and sex is something you're ready to venture into. Then and only then is it time to have a conversation about it. If you can't talk about it then you're not ready for it, which is the first sign that you need to wait. Your conversation should have some "must have" topics to determine if both of you are ready? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he's ready. How long has it been since your last encounter? When was the last HIV test and physical you've had?, Can we get tested together? Or can I see the results? What type of protection are we using? What will happen if this doesn't go well? Ex. pregnancy mistakes can happen ask all the single moms in the world. Sex is a very big step for a relationship no matter how old you are. It changes the whole climate of a relationship once you go there you can't go back to what it was like before. So sex responsibly doesn't mean that you should be ashamed to say no, because "no" is not a dirty word.
There are so many safe dating tips one could give I believe these are some of the top ones. Implement them in your dating life so after every date you can come back safe, whole, and with a piece of mind. Because if no one has told you, you are important and you deserve to be safe.
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