Shattering Negative Images: Discovering Your Internal Power - A Life Lesson for Women

From the beginning of time, a woman's role has been defined for her, such as wife, mother, caregiver, and nurturer. According to Poovey, 1988, prior to the twentieth century, women were primarily absent from the workplace. As the years sped by, women have earned their right to vote, to own property and to pursue their personal and professional goals in almost any area they desire. However, what has worsened over the past several years is the yard stick society uses to continue to define a women's external beauty, specifically, her size, hair, and skin to name a few and for Black women this includes their skin color.

Having to navigate through and attempt to meet the unrealistic expectations set for women has historically caused many women to develop negative images of themselves. Such negative images include, but are not limited to low self-esteem, incompetence, self-doubt, powerlessness, defenselessness and fear of not meeting societal and family expectations of them. These negative images, if left unaddressed could impact a woman's ability to ultimately achieve their personal and professional goals; therefore, it is imperative that women begin to take steps to shatter these negative images and begin to think and act positively.

Harnessing Your Personal Power

There is something to be said about the success of those who harness their personal power and think positively, as opposed to those who think negatively and therefore transmit negativity. In your quest to achieve your personal and professional goals, you must learn to harness your internal personal power. This is a critical component to your success and if you learn to access it and use it, it will greatly improve others perception of you, but most importantly, improve your confidence and how you actually see yourself. Acquiring this new level of positive thinking will separate you from those who continue to think negatively, into one who is taking control of his/her destiny.

If you want to experience positive changes to your life, you must first conquer any negative thoughts, and self-sabotaging behaviors. By accessing your internal personal power, you will begin to reprogram your subconscious to propel you toward achieving success, both personally and professionally.

Believe in Yourself

When striving to reach your goals, no matter how big or small, there is one key characteristic that must exist aside from the usual ability to effectively network, being well-versed in the latest software and technology and your effective communication and organizational skills. This characteristic is unshakeable and unwavering self-belief. Self-belief is defined as, the belief that you can do things well. Most people say that they believe in themselves; however, their actions show otherwise. Your self-confidence/self-belief (or lack thereof) impacts many facets of your life, such as, your school work, your ability to advance at work, the way you speak, the way you walk, the way you dress and even your behavior and mood. Unless you begin to take positive action to build your self-belief, you will continue to feel the negative, destructive effects on various areas of your life, such as, personal and professional relationships, lifestyle and your overall frame of mind.

Developing and Shaping Your Own Subconscious

Ask yourself this question, do you believe, without a doubt, that you can achieve anything that you aspire to, no matter how big the goal(s) seems right now? If you did not answer YES to this question, then you don't believe in yourself and you are right, you will NOT reach your destination. You must know and believe that you can achieve your dreams. Only when you begin to believe, will you have the ability to break free of the fear that binds you and keeps you from reaching your full potential.

The first step in developing and shaping your subconscious is being aware of its power. You can control your subconscious mind by consistently sending positive messages to it. If you send negativity and doubt, you will fail; however, if you believe that you can succeed, you will. Therefore, it is imperative that you begin to send your subconscious positive information about your belief in your ability to accomplish the goal(s) you have set for yourself. It is important to note that positive thinking by itself will not make you an overnight success. You must make changes to how you are living, by getting your mind to work for you, not against you.

One way to accomplish this is to use a proven technique, "using affirmations" (Peden, 1994). The use of affirmations can serve as a great tool, which can help you achieve the success you want and can be applied immediately. It is imperative that you work towards eliminating all of the negative, self-defeating thoughts from your mind in order to achieve the full benefit of this exercise. In order for the affirmations to work, you must commit yourself to using them on a permanent basis. Remember, "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:20).

Utilizing Positive Affirmations

Here are examples of three (3) affirmations that I have previously utilized.

1. I release all doubt and disbelief about achieving my writing goals.
2. I magnetically attract positive people who will encourage and support my goals.
3. I am mastering my personal power and I am using it to become a successful writer.

Affirmations should be repeated several times per day, in order for them to become ingrained in your subconscious. It also helps to develop your own personal affirmations, which directly align with what you want to achieve. Listed below are examples of how you can easily transform three (3) negative beliefs into three (3) positive affirmations.

Turning Negative into Positive

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

I will never get the promotion I want.

I am acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to advance at work.

I will never own my own home.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

I am building the foundation necessary to become a homeowner, by saving money and rebuilding my credit.

I will never start my own Event Planning business.

I am building a successful Event Planning business, by conducting research and developing a plan of action.

By using this concept of transforming negative thoughts into positive affirmations will give you the added internal power you need to initiate immediate changes in your sub-conscious by reversing the years of negative, crippling thoughts. You have incredible potential at your disposal; do not waste your opportunity to begin utilizing your personal power to help you shatter the negative images you have developed of yourself, as well as, unleash the successful person you have kept hidden inside. Remember, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're probably right", Henry Ford.

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