Past a certain age, finding love is fraught with difficulty for both sexes but particularly for single women. Let's be honest. On a night out with a group of friends none of us look over at a woman sitting on her own and think 'Aw, there's a lovely lady trying to make a social life for herself,' do we? We're more likely to think 'Oh gawd, look at that. Musn't stare. Has she been stood up or is she a hooker?'
No wonder then, that internet dating has become such a popular way to meet people. We can commune with the opposite sex in the safety and comfort of our own homes, still with a nice glass of wine and bag of nuts, but in our pyjamas and fleecy socks and it doesn't matter if our roots are needing done. We can sift through rows of pictures and profiles, read witty comments and wile away our lonely Sundays sending messages to attractive men with usernames like 'Hotrod' or 'Handyman' with hope in our hearts that this might be the man who's going to change our life.
Unsettlingly then, a recent study published by the University of Leicester and led by Professor Monica Whitty, and Dr Tom Buchanan of the University of Westminster, reveals that Romance Scams are becoming increasingly common. The scammers, both male and female, set up profiles with fabricated details about themselves. The more professional amongst them even using fake photos.
A Romance Scam is where a person is duped into thinking the person who contacts them, professing love and a future together, is genuine. The scammer then asks for money. In the past, we have tended to think that being tricked out of our money only happens to men who deserve it, because frankly, any over 55 year old with his own home and good pension who thinks a nubile 25 year old is interested in him because of his scintillating personality and toned body deserves all his deluded self gets. But more and more women are finding themselves targeted too. And it turns out we are just as vulnerable when affairs of the heart are concerned.
The study reveals that over 200,000 people in the UK, far more people than previously estimated, are falling victim to on-line Romance Scams. This confirms the belief held by law enforcement agencies that this type of crime is often not reported because of embarrassment at having been duped or through a continued hope that a real romance will develop eventually.
Professor Whitty said: "It is our view that the trauma caused by this scam is worse than any other because people are not only losing large sums of money to these criminals but there is the psychological impact of the loss of what was thought to be a genuine romantic relationship. It may well be that the shame and upset experienced by the victims deters them from reporting the crime."
Action Fraud, the national fraud reporting and advice centre run by the National Fraud Authority, identified 592 victims of this crime in 2010-2011. Over 203 of these victims lost over £5,000.
The Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) take on-line romance scams very seriously and report they have seen financial losses experienced by victims of between £50,000 and £240,000. They say that scammers often operate from outside the UK, using on-line dating sites and social networking sites to make contact and build up 'relationships.'
Colin Woodstock, SOCA's Senior Manager for fraud Prevention said: "Perpetuators spend long periods of time grooming their victims, working out their vulnerabilities and when the time is right they ask for money."
The stories spun by the scammers are varied but usually involve them losing their wallet or being mugged and stranded with no money or suddenly falling onto hard times through no fault of their own, or they might say they need money for a relative for an operation. A favourite scenario is to pretend they are on holiday with their child and the child has been hit by a car (or has had some other accident). The child is in hospital and now needs a life-saving operation. They will be able to pay you back once they get the insurance money. The scammers play on the compassion and caring nature of the women they target. Caring women are also usually very trusting and don't like to question the truth of what their paramour tells them. In their mind 'He wouldn't lie just to get money out of me.' Unfortunately, he would.
Internet dating can work however, and it is definitely becoming a route many singles venture to try. But if you are new to internet dating perhaps best to get to know some rules first. For some sensible advice on how to keep yourself safe and how to spot a scammer visit the website of the e-book, A Little Bit Hilarious - Internet Dating For Beginners which is a fun read about internet dating.
The author, Kay McKay, said "I think this crime is particularly cruel. These men will target the nicest women exactly because they are decent and come across as caring and kind. My advice would be to please, please say 'no' if anyone you meet on these sites asks you for money, no matter what the circumstances. You will soon see their true colours. Internet dating can work - you just need to learn to develop a healthy wariness to spot the bad boys."
If you feel you may have been taken in and are the victim of Romance Scam fraud you can contact Action Fraud on 0203 356 1034.
ENDS
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