Do you have skeletons in your closet?
You know those kind of drab, dreary, monochromatic, comfortable but not terribly attractive work clothes that you've been wearing for about 7 years. I call this stuff 'dumpy duds'. They cover me, they are serviceable and they fit the mold of what was de rigeur for corporate life years ago!
But they don't flatter me and I definitely don't look powerful or attractive or like I can command a boardroom. So... do YOU still have skeletons in your closet?
WHY?! What gives?
You're a force to be reckoned with-a woman who's smart as a whip, focused and successful; you're used to super-achieving in anything and everything you want to do. You are someone who KNOWS how to make things happen. And you wouldn't be here today if you didn't know how to make it in a man's world.
The thing is - you're not a man and your clothes are one of your most powerful attributes in creating the juice, the power, the sassiness, and yes, the success you desire! Men's fashions are much more constrained than those for us women... our clothes really can help define us. You don't have to wear the "uniform" that society has created.
Be authentic!
Show up!
Be all the woman you are!
There is ALWAYS a way to create a great wardrobe that allows you to shine.
In the '80s, I was in full-time 'corporate mode'. I didn't even consider wearing clothes that would let me transition easily from work to evening. I didn't think once about including more "feminine" pieces in my wardrobe. It was suit, pantyhose, belt, high heels, briefcase. IBM set the dress code: that's what we wore. Period. It took me over 8 years to even try to wear a camisole that might show through my blouse.
I am going to show you how to add some sass and sensuality to your wardrobe and allow you to maximize your advantage of being a woman. And... I am going to help you take your wardrobe from the desk to dinner.
The truth: most of us, in our 40 through 60's, are in pretty much the same shape. Our bodies are not tight and perfect and 25 anymore. There are saggy bits, wrinkly bits, and even sunspots sprouting up. Our kind of bodies won't fit in tight revealing clothes made for a size 0 with less than 15% body fat. But that doesn't mean you have to hide your body in a 'burlap sack' or dumpy duds and call it a day.
If all this is a bit overwhelming, here's what you want to do:
1. Get a personal shopper
Get your butt out of the computer chair and into a clothing store; the right, higher end clothes store, like a Nordstrom, Macy, Holt Renfrew, to name a few. Start asking about personal shoppers and start talking to them. These people have the information that you need! Ask for a quick consultation before you decide to actually engage a Personal Shopper. Bring some of your staple pieces with you, walk into a store, and get an opinion! That helps you decide who you want as a personal shopper and if they can work with you. You want to look and feel better in the outfits that they select.
Tell her (or him):
- I'd like to add some bold/eye catching pieces to my wardrobe
- I'd like some 'swish-y', soft and/or textured pieces
- I'd like some accent pieces (eg. shoes, purse/bag)
- I'd like some tops or blouses that I can wear after work so that if I wear a daytime jacket and take it off, then I have a different look
- I'd like accessories (scarves, gloves, hat, etc.)
Remember to take some of your own clothes to the store! Let her/him offer suggestions so you don't need to purchase a completely new wardrobe. In fact, you may make several visits. Also take some photos of other items with your mobile phone.
If you are less inclined to get an in-person consultation, go online and search for fashion consultants for women. The digital age makes it incredibly easy. Google "Image Consultant" or "Image Stylist". Some will work remotely with you. You can take photographs of some of your wardrobe as well as you in some clothes and post them for advice.
If all else fails - let a girlfriend who has impeccable taste go through your wardrobe and then out shopping with you. Lunch is on you!
2. Wear flattering makeup
I advocate that every woman who wears makeup needs either a red statement lipstick or a great pink statement lipstick - something that isn't just neutral. A colour that says: "Here I am!"
Go to a MAC counter or to a specialist counter and get a pro to help you pick the shade. Trust me, they see you in a different light than you do (and tell them in which type of light you will mostly be wearing it). If you aren't going high end, another tip is get a tester/sample and ask a friend to judge the tone on you. Also, purchase an "under color" that will soften it during the day. Keep them in your purse. When you wear your softer color during the day (presuming you've got time to put your lipstick on at all), then you can add the darker lipstick at night.
3. Get a great pair of dark washed flattering jeans and a pair of statement shoes
Lots of times and in many situations, you may be able to wear a great pair of slimming jeans. Dark wash is really the only pair to consider for the ultimate slimming and "desk wear to dinner" option. Team them with a great pair of shoes! I am going to call these your CFM shoes (if you have to ask then you might not want me to explain). These shoes are really tall yet still comfortable. They make a statement out of your legs and silhouette. With the new platforms that are out there now, you can get quite comfortable platform shoes. Buy a pair - and no, not just in black! You can keep them at the office and slip them on as you head out the door. You can even provocatively dangle them off your foot if you are so inclined when you are at a bar... men love a high heel and this move especially seems to be a show-stopper! It's not wrong to play up your feminine sensuality!
4. The underworld
Spanx has taken over the world - and for good reason!. Thank you Sara Blakely! She has allowed us to to show off our current gorgeous curvy shape by helping us appear slightly tighter and more supported. This bodywear holds us together and we still get to show that we're women. Get the proper support you need.. It makes the world of difference to your figure and the clothes you can now choose from!
5. Layers, layers, layers
Wearing layers is going to create flexibility in your look and help create an easier transition from day to night. Take off your suit jacket to show a fabulous blouse and skirt and replace the blazer with a pashmina or wrap that can drape seductively over your bare arms. Switch up your accessories, adding more sparkle to your nighttime choices and change up your shoes for fabulous heels. Remember that you are trying to command attention and that is not going to happen if you look like you just stepped out of the boardroom.
So to recap, here are your daytime to nighttime essentials:
- Wear colour(s)
- Wear skirts and dresses ideally
- Wear soft, feminine fabrics that accentuate your assets
- Wear heels or a great pair of boots
- Invest in some statement pieces like fabulous heels or a sparkly blouse
- Incorporate ONE sparkly, bold, textured, or bright detail into your outfit. Accessorize!
- Layer your clothing
Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. Neither is a fabulous wardrobe. Get help or shop online.
Once you have the essentials, you will never be wondering what to wear when you are meeting that special someone for cocktails (or looking for the next special someone) or romancing your honey on 'date night'. Once you take a few baby steps, you will probably be surprised how fun and easy it can be to turn from daytime power player to nighttime diva.
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